NHS Nursing Student

Mission Accomplished

2011-07-27T16:52:00.004+01:00

Well.. another placement gone, another placement closer to qualifying!

I'm exhausted and now on the post-placement come-down which involves a lot of lay-ins and toast in bed after doing 45 hours a week for the last ten weeks.

I'm now enjoying a nice summer in the sun before the carnage of next year ensues.

More NHS Nursing Student this September.

Placement!

2011-04-23T00:14:00.005+01:00

Warning, this post is so long and full of useless information it may bore you to death.

I've been so stressed out the last few weeks, but I've finally been given my placement details. I'm so thrilled. I sent my placement prep office a borderline-abusive email the other day saying that it was unacceptable for a returning student currently at home with the rents to be left waiting an incredibly long time (because it IS unacceptable) when there are things to organize like accommodation etc. All the other students in the general cohort had been given their placements and I hadn't, I felt on the bottom of "the list" for an allocation. When really I should of been at the "top" along with all returning students who have been off, since I need to be re-orientated and given a decent placement more than others to succeed and get my bearings. My personal advisor Janette and year coordinators agreed with these sentiments, but there is no interfering (apparently!) with the placement prep department!! Well I'll bloody well show them! I thought.. Thus an e-mail was born and sent. I wouldn't normally fuck with the placement prep department, in fear I piss off one of the clerks and get "targeted" and slammed with a shitty placement, but I was so pissed off, at this point ANY placement would have been a blessing.

To top it all off, I was left with the news that my placement could be anywhere up to 40 miles away within my "area" of placement allocations. It would appear since I left hospitals within my area where mostly everyone goes have closed placements and new ones have opened up to students a bit further out. Community Nursing centres, health centres, GP's etc. Normally this would be fine but given the fact I am in desperate need of hands-on "ward based" care and within reasonable distance of my accommodation for 10 weeks since I had no car, getting a 40 mile commute would of been useless.

So boderline-abusive e-mail sent, generic "there's nothing we can do to help you, I will tell department manager your concerns when she's back off annual leave" crap response back. Then yesterday I get a very lovely phone call whilst walking the dog with my niece. The department manager has been in his job donkey years, and is obviously familiar with my situation. To top it off she tells me she was a Nurse and understands my sentiments in the e-mail I sent that I really need ward care and nearby at my usual hospital (for accom reasons) so that I can get my bearings.

"We've actually allocated you just today a GP placement about 15 miles away from where you live, but the surgery haven't got your details yet so the allocation isn't complete. If we talk about this now maybe we can sort this out".

Le sigh, and I comment about how I really shouldn't be going 15 miles down the road on a community placement when I haven't been on a ward for well over a year!! I'd be going into my second year in September, completely de-skilled and possibly en-route to somewhere major like A&E or ICU for the second year placements, scared stiff. Because thats where you head for second year, straight into the deep end. How would I of survived? I certaintly would not have been wiser for a GP experience then going straight into ICU on October 1st.

"Well what placement would you like then?" in a cheeky tone.

My ears pick up. She's taking me seriously. I try not to push it.

"I'd really like a ward placement in Hospital X"

I thought that was a big enough ask. I thought there and then if she could get me anywhere in that hospital which is only a 10 minute bus ride away, and I know well from working there, I'd be set.

"Alright, but what placement do you really want Mary?".

Oh Christ, she's actually asking me where I would like to go on placement. Is this a practical joke? I sense her tone is cheekier so I decide to be cheeky back.

"I'd really love a placement in specialized medicine, or surgery, just something interesting that will re-orient me to ward care the same. I've had X, Y & Z placement already and I'm really eager to try something different but one at the same time will help me into second year placements".

She spends 2 minutes after I said this umming and arring down the phone and I can hear tapping on the computer screen and flicks of paper in front of her. I figure she's looking and since my niece at that exact moment decided to reach into a stingy nettle bush for the dogs Frisbee and scream bloody murder at the top of her lungs, I say I will call her back. She responds saying in half hour she's off to a meeting then home for a day but will sort something out for me before then, and get her assistant to call me later in the day. At this point I'm so eternally grateful I could reach down the phone and snog her face off, but instead offer my polite (and professional!) thanks and gratitude and hang up to let her do her work.

An hour later I get a call from her assistant who informs me a placement has been giving to me at Hospital X. YAY! I ask her the details and she says she can't give them at this minute because the computer system has gone down and the details are already up on there. Blast! But at least I have a placement at Hospital X. All is well. She (the manager) was able to get me this placement because it had been "freed up" on the system that day by another student. Basically meaning a student had dropped out of the course before placement began. I'm told to check my e-mail later on today because when the system is finally working, the automated e-mail to me with the details will be sent out. My University actually sends out e-mails with all the details. I suspect it all comes from an automated system somewhere, but it's efficiant nontheless. Some other schools I know of use this log-in system with details on there (as well as details of students on the course) and the school (at the end of placement) log in all timesheet and hour numbers (and sickness). That sounds great, but I actually prefer the e-mail system because anything I ever need to know is accessible through e-mail, work computer, uni computer, etc, in my inbox. It's just a shame the system was down that day.

So I leave it, and leave it some more. Finally today I get around to logging in and see my placement detail e-mail. It's amazing!

I've basically been given a department "set" which is in Cardiology! I'm rotating with 7 other students. I will spend a few weeks on my "main" cardiac ward and then off to Cardiac surgery ward for a few weeks (and see surgery), Cardiac HDU (amazing!) then general HDU (optional) and then a bit of Respiratory and the end of placement will be spent back on my main ward. I am super excited. Who wouldn't be? For two of the weeks I will actually be at another (nearby) hospital since my hospital doesn't host the whole "cardiac package" like some, but that is fine since it's still pretty close and accessible by bus, just another 5 minute journey on top of what I'm doing now. Nonetheless, I'm excited and thrilled to be back on a ward, and in somewhere that will keep me busy, educated and skilled again!

Hooray for meeting in the middle! Don't take this the wrong way (because I really want to do community/GP nursing in the future) but I'm fairly certain if I had been giving that GP placement "for keeps" now you'd never be hearing from me again - I'd of thrown the towel in and closed this blog. There is no way I would be prepared for year 2 placements (which is basically october) after well over a year off the wards and then community, and there is no way I would have been able to of keep up with it giving it's location.

Here's to happy endings!

Now for the rush of studying and getting my drug knowledge "down" before placement. Wish me luck!

Lagging behind with longing

2011-04-14T02:46:00.003+01:00

My boyfriend tells me I've been sleeping somewhat peacefully these last few weeks. Not many dreams, not moving around much, not getting up etc. Just perfect, peaceful sleep. I feel better for it too, I've noticed. 2011 has been turning out to be an amazing year. I don't blame it so much on luck or fate, but I do somewhat feel like it was a long time coming. I blame most of it on just being fed up, and wanting more. When you're truly at your wits end, something has to give. Circumstances piled together towards the end of last year and I just felt like if something didn't give soon, whatever was holding me up would snap. Something did snap, and I felt free, and ready to charge.

Sometimes, you have to really feel like you're at your worse. When you feel like that, everything that happens thereafter can only feel better. It gives you great perspective and let's be honest too, at the end of each era of your life, a sense of perspective is all you have left.

So why do I feel like I'm still, a lot of the time, at one mentally with the past? I have so much pent up emotions over the last year. Some days I wake up and feel so far from what I should be feeling right now. Some days I wake up and I forget and rejoice in the good, then it all comes flooding back. It's either one, I wake up gloomy or it comes in waves during the day.

This month is a difficult month. I truly put it all behind me and move on. I will start Uni again. I have a brilliant relationship with an amazing man. I'm injury-free. My friends lives are on track (and this makes me so eternally happy, because I feel like I cannot be happy if they aren't) and there is so much more joy ahead. It's nothing but up from here. I have so much anxiety about it all going well I sometimes find it hard to believe I sleep at all, let alone soundly each night.

In the book of Genesis, Lot's wife looks back on the destruction of Sodom & Gomorrah, against the advice of the lord. She was lagging behind her husband and the people they were able to save, who had good in them, because she could not bring herself to look forward. When she does finally look back, she turns to a pillar of salt. Just like everyone, the lord included, told her would happen. But she could not help herself. Her physical body might of been out of the cities, but her heart and soul were there, amongst the impurities, the hurt and the sin. She could not look forward just yet, she had to take one look back and that was enough for her to end up caught there forever.

I can't end up ruining all I've built now by looking back. I truly think if I do then I'll end up in a loop forever, praying on all I've lost and the hardships. I should celebrate the future.

So this is most definitely the last time I pray on these thoughts. It's felt good and therapeutic, perhaps somewhat essential. But when I go to bed in 10 minutes, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and just let go. Then in the near distant future when someone tells me 2010 was their best year (as this apparently seems to be the consensus) and asks if it was the same for me, I'll focus on the good since and just say "I've had better years". Looking back only hurts.

Michael Moore

2011-04-04T05:30:00.003+01:00

Thanks Dr Grumble for originally posting this.

Interesting sentiments from Michael Moore. My friend last week who is currently out in the states told me to watch his Documentary SiCKO (link click-able) and to learn a bit more about the US system of health care compared with ours. I might if I can find it online. I know better than to watch a lot of these documentaries that verge on the edge of fear-mongering most of the time but my friend assures me it's not like that (for the most part) so if I watch it I'll post a link to where you can watch it and a small review, too. That's not if it's complete rubbish and I've been told to somewhat expect from Michael Moore.

For the most part, I'm trying to understand a bit better what the governments real plans are for the NHS. How most importantly this will affect patients. It's hard to watch & read news and understand what is really happening and what the news outlets want to make you think is really happening. I have been out of the NHS for almost a good year now on my leave of absence and due to go back this month. I have been told things already have changed at the very large hospital I work in. It will be interesting to hear from people inside the hospital and see it for my own eyes.

What I do know right now though from a Student Nurse perspective is that from the Student Nurse friends I have that go to eight separate universities, five of them have been able to confirm that a lot of places were cut in the recent intakes by asking their year tutors or personal tutors. Almost 10% from the Adult Nursing cohort at my school alone. That is a significant number and I have a big cohort. It was around 5% the year before when I joined and 5% before that. Around 4 places were cut on our Mental Health cohort and 2 in the Paeds. But those are smaller groups. Learning Disability Nursing numbers weren't cut but that group is small in our school with a massive drop-out rate so was probably not needed. So now it seems smaller groups that are now much harder to get into because of the degree change are also shrinking so it makes it even harder for applicants. Collectively I do believe the NHS save around £25,000 per place - that is around 20k of bursary a year and fees. That's a lot of saving if it's happening everywhere.

On top of that, the government are once again putting on hold a bursary reform that could result in a rise in the bursary. So they are definitely holding their horses until they can pinch more money out of health care training, at least for the next year or two anyway.

I don't know whether it was announced Student Nurse places were shrinking fast in England but it certainly did not go unnoticed in Scotland. I know each year even in the labour government training for HCP's such as Physio's and Nurses dwindled, but it seemed much more significant this year and particularly in Scotland it will be bad this coming September. I am wondering if a little investigative work into this is worth it, or see if any official numbers are released closer to September, because if they are out there then I'm certain the Nursing Times, as annoying as they usually are, will pick up on it as they are shit-hot like that.

If I am missing some kind of announcement or an overview of HCP places numbers this year, or proposed cuts from the government then please point me in the direction of where I can read further. I haven't been brilliant at keeping up with the news as of late and I'm genuinely interested in this.

Second chances.

2011-03-21T09:10:00.002Z

I've been really busy. So busy I wonder when my next time off will be, and between now and going back to Uni, it's likely to be August. Which is fine, I just hope time doesn't go slowly between here and then. I know I'm technically "off" Uni right now, so I have time "off" but it doesn't feel like it. Everyday I've been doing something like studying, and bits around the house, and when I'm not doing that my mind (and nerves) are occupied with the thought of going back. To top it all off, I've been back and forth to the hospital on various appointments and have minor surgery at the beginning of next month. I've had some weird women's problems that have been troubling me to boot. My GP seems to be a little concerned about it, which is unusual for him, I could walk in with my foot hanging off and his face would be blank, but it's more of an annoyance to me. I've basically had my period for well over a month now. My periods are usually quite heavy anyway, which I take mefenamic acid for, but this time it's different and the mefenamic acid isn't making a dent on it at all. So I stopped taking them, which my GP agreed on, and I was planning on stopping them anyway full stop since they don't agree with me, and my period has just carried on and on. I'm tired a lot because of it and I just pray it will end. If you pray as well, just spare me a thought and ask that it stops. I'm almost forgetting what life without periods is like. I'm hoping I don't have fibroid, which apparently could be a possibility, and it's just caused by the spot of stress I've been under. Anyways, I go back to the GP this week. I'm glad I could talk about this here, anonymity is great, it feels good to get it out. I'm sick of feeling like I'm hemorrhaging to death. It's not at all unlike the miscarriage I had. Except I know this isn't a miscarriage.

Going back to Uni has been at the forefront of my mind. I put a deposit down on a lovely house I'm moving into soon. I had spoke to placement organizers and told them where my location was this year, since they usually allocate placements closer to the area. Apparently, they don't do this anymore, or at least as cautiously as they did, and I could have my placements as far as 40 miles away where they have opportunities. Obviously this went down well. I wonder if they realize people drop out because of placement locations. A woman with 2 young kids in my group had to drop out last year because her placement was 25 miles away and she just couldn't cope with it giving her location. My friend in a group last year had to drop out because her placement was 20 miles away and she couldn't get to it on public transport. The Uni couldn't put them in a more suitable placement as there wasn't any. If they do know, they don't care. I don't have means of transport except for Bus and even then it's a struggle. So I'm hoping I just get my usual hospital or a GP surgery or whatever community service there is in the area. I'd quite like to walk to placement as I know there are a handful of surgeries and a walk in centre and loads of Nursing homes around me within a 3 mile radius. I might get a bike if it is nearby. I might get a bike full stop since I'm sick of paying for late buses and Uni never reimbursing the money properly for placement travel even though they promise they do, plus it's healthier. So I'm hoping it works out. Pray pray pray.

Also, I'd really like to know so I can start studying and gathering info on my placement area. My friend said to me the other night "It's like you've been injected with a new enthusiasm for Uni again" - she's right. I'm eager more than ever now to do it all right and better, 'cause after all, besides for my friends and my boyfriend, Uni is all I have and all that will dominate my life for the next 2 years, so I might as well make the most of it and do it the best I can. I can't let it all slip away again due to sickness and injury, so I'm working on that part too. I think about all the times I've made mistakes, as everyone does, and wish I could go back and make a change, or do something different, and I can't. I can here. I've been giving an opportunity to do it right this time. Anyone who wouldn't want to make changes whilst they can are idiots. Second chances don't come around often.

Good news & Hard work

2011-03-02T00:18:00.002Z

Hello. I haven't been away in lala land burying my head and nothing serious has happened, you needn't worry (who the hell worries about me anyway?!)

I've just been a bit busy... and a bit distant. I found out I'm going back to University, in April. Whilst that's given me the relief I've dreadfully needed and 2011 seems to be (for the most part) running well, I've been running around like a knob head since finding out. I've been organizing somewhere to live, new uniform, new bloody work shoes (trust me, new work shoes are an effort to find) and most importantly, studying!

I haven't found out yet where I'll be going back to placement, that would be nice.... but such luxuries are often denied to a keen Student Nurse. I'm hoping since it's only 9 weeks, that it's something like medicine (gastro or renal would be nice) but not too much like medicine, like for example, fucking stroke and acute elderly medicine.... Not even a shorter 9 week placement could prepare me mentally and physically for that shit again. The reason why I'm craving medicine is so I'm up to date with all my skills again. However, I'm likely to end up with Surgery or Community. I wouldn't mind Community, but I don't think it's best for me now having had time off, I need to update my skills, and surgery just sounds like a boring nightmare unless it's theatres.

In the meantime, I have been attempting to study...... looking through some of my books. I've just been re-orientating myself today with the basic science and organ systems and drug calcs, and looking over some of my evidence from the clinical skills to see if I can familiarize myself with them again. I'm planning nearer to the time when I found out my placement to re-familiarize myself with drugs, the BNF being online helps but obviously if I'm in a specialized area then there are different drugs to know, and I'm dreading that bit somewhat.... Drugs, remembering them and their indications etc is not my strong point. Though my general knowledge of the more common drugs for all the common conditions is quite good for a first year, it just took me long enough to mentally store them.

If anyone has any good online resources that will help me study then do point me in the general direction, as well as that, I need to know where I can find the Royal Marsden Book of Clinical Skills (Student Edition) online? Apparently it's out there, people keep reminding me it's out there.... yet I cannot find it and nobody else can account for it's whereabouts, either. I'm assuming it's in the most obvious of places I've probably already checked but if someone has a direct link I'd really appreciate it... Or I must just buy it since it's only 30 squid.

In the meantime I've been following closely all the NHS related news, and more Nursing related. Including the NMC wasting yet more money and shit nobody will ever read and Soton Uni making the first move towards the deterioration of Nursing education in this country, and more will follow and all the crap of the last month in the news when I have time.

Toodles, for now....

Australian Nurses have the right idea.

2011-01-27T08:20:00.004Z

This morning got off to a rocky start. I twisted my ankle, again. As I was trying to comfort myself with a bacon sandwich I left the heat up high on the pan whilst I was upstairs on the phone and the oil burnt, and smoked out my entire house. Then I burnt my toast. So whilst I was sat browsing google news, with a much safer bowl of cereal I came across this article. It cheered me up massively. It outlines current industrial action being taken by Nurses in New South Wales, Australia, over nurse-to-patient ratios.

NURSES at Manly and Mona Vale hospitals remain confident of resolving their stand-off with NSW Health over patient-to-staff ratios.

Last week the NSW Nurses’ Association received what it described as a “decent offer”, but is seeking to improve parts of it, including dedicated numbers and skill mixes for emergency and mental health departments.

On Tuesday night, the association voted to press ahead with negotiations with NSW Health for one more week.

Earlier this month, nurses started rolling industrial action, with 14 beds closed at Manly Hospital and 12 at Mona Vale Hospital in a bid to increase nurse-to-patient ratios in NSW to one nurse for every four beds - the standard in Victoria.

It's really encouraging to see these kind of articles. It's encouraging full stop when it comes to Nurses taking a stand for what they know are better working conditions. I suspect news like this, although not completely relevant as it is across the globe, would still bypass UK press. Even if it was happening a bit closer to home, like in Ireland or France. Why? Because the UK press believe that Nurses in the NHS here are whinging, overpaid, uncaring and "over-educated" jobsworths who should just get on with it.

God knows what would happen here if Nurses took industrial action. I suspect it would involve (at a local level) hospitals keeping their heads above water for the duration by a handful of agency Nurses along with the Skeleton staff, and gazillions of unskilled HCA's. So nothing out of the ordinary. But as for what would happen to the Nurses in question and the reaction to any kind of industrial reaction I suspect would be huge. The media would have a field day with it, particularly the likes of the Daily Mail, and giving the Daily Mails content makes it the 11th most viewed newspaper in the entire world, the British public would be having a field day with it, too. Nurses would be selfish & dangerous. They are paid for by the Tax Payer and they should put up or shut up.

The governments reaction to any industrial action would be a mix of utter astonishment and dishonesty. They would claim, for the benefit of the public that hospitals are adequately staffed, and that they'd reach "agreements" for the benefits of patients getting back to bed ASAP. As far as the government and managers in the NHS, Qualified Nurses are a expense and not a necessity anymore. If they had their way, NHS wards would be filled to the brim with low-banding health workers like HCA's dealing with patients, and there would be few Qualified Nurses. They are expensive.

In general, mass chaos in the UK would ensue. The only people defending Nurses if they ever took industrial action would be other Nurses. The reputation of the British Nurse would never be the same again, that's if it can get any worse.

1350 New Nurses would be an exceptional increase in any regional trust here in the UK. I really envy Australian Nurses right now. Whilst I don't believe it is essentially the responsibility for Nurses to have to fight for conditions such as better (and safer) ratios, I really admire the balls on Australian Nurses for fighting what they deserve; safer working conditions.

An extra 1350 full-time equivalent nurses will be in NSW hospitals under the government’s latest offer.

NSW Nurses Association’s Manly branch president Lyn Hopper said NSW Health’s current offer delivered the desired nurse-to-patient ratios but nothing on the issue of skills mix.

“It’s a marked improvement on what we had a week ago but there is still nothing on the skills mix,” she said.

“If you don’t have trained staff then no amount of ratios will work. One cannot exist without the other.”

NSW Nurse’s Association’s assistant secretary Judith Kiejda said they had received a “decent offer” but there were still areas that needed to be finessed.

She said nurses needed “certainty and enforceability for staff across speciality units” and a system to guarantee nurses knew how many staff would be on any shift.

1:4 Nurse-to-Patient ratio would be amazing. Nurses could get all of their drugs done on time, the quality in care would be brilliant, there would be less mortality and errors in Nursing. Doctors would be better able to focus on the sicker patients whilst reassured the less ill are cared for, and overall hospitals would run much better than they do now.

In the UK there is no legal limit on a number of patients to a qualified Nurse. However, the general consensus right now on most wards seems to be 2 (or 3 on a good day) Nurses to around 25-30 patients. The conditions of the patients don't really matter. Most will have complex medical needs, requiring frequent observations and IV Medication drawn up. They will be on different medications and drug rounds can take well over an hour. Compis Mentis of each patient then plays a factor, if they are confused then they require even more care they don't get. Then you have the additional issues on top of mobility and continence, etc. There will be plenty of HCA's around to do the obs, empty the catheter bags, help with food or roll out the commodes. But the buck stops there, it is the Qualified Nurse that the HCA works under and the outcome of every observation, fluid chart and food chart needs to be assessed by a Qualified Nurse to ensure that patients are not deteriorating.

Going to work everyday is essentially professional sabotage to any Qualified Nurse and lethal to a Patient.

Whilst I'm really thrilled to have seen this article this morning, it highlights more than ever the issues in the UK and how ass-backwards the NHS are in their treatment of Nurses. How long will the issue of safe staffing and quality Nursing on the wards go, and how deep will it escalate before they start to take notice? Will there be a Staffs 2.0?

Suicide

2011-01-07T16:56:00.007Z

Someone I knew from my past has recently, in the last few months, ended their own life.

Whilst writing this particular blog post (it's taken me a while) another person I know who was very close to one of my brothers has also ended their own life.

This isn't the first time that someone I know have killed themselves, and if you watch the news enough and if I said that alot of people I went to school with have ended their life in just a few short years, then I'm guessing a few of you could hazard a guess as to whereabouts I'm from, or live nearby. It dominates this area. It's never talked about but it's always hanging over us like a thick black cloud. If you can't figure it out then just do a search. If you don't care where I'm from then just read on.

Back to my friend from a few months ago, she ended her own life when her parents went out one evening, she hung herself when there was nobody in the house. She was found the next morning. She had left college a few months prior and couldn't find a job and didn't get that University place she wanted, and without any other rhyme or reason did it. She had told her mother a few days prior that her life was worthless. I can really empathise with that, really for the first time I can understand why she might have felt the urge to do it. Not now, but from a place in my head of how I was exactly like her years ago. I don't agree with it and the damage that has been done by it, but I can really understand why she might have woken up that day and thought; I might just have the courage to kill myself today.

Without going into too much detail, I was severely depressed many years ago when I left sixth form in the year I took off before I went to University to study another degree. I became jobless and through no fault of my own as everyone had gone to university etc, I became friendless. I was alone, very alone, depression dominated my life and on some days, suicide. When you wake up one day with only a will to end your own life, it's parasitic and the thoughts eats you from the inside out.

I think people with long-term mental illness are less likely to commit suicide as appose to people like my friend and previous friends, who out of the blue wake up one day and obviously decide it is time to go, without any real forewarning or indication they were suffering. Please do not quote me on that or jump back at me and say that statistically, that isn't true, but that is my real and very honest account of suicide and having had suicidal thoughts and I think surely that means something, and also considering the amount of people I know that have died. Out of the several people I know, that were close to me and now gone, only 1 made any indication they were depressed and currently seeking help for it. In hindsight on my days being depressed the way I was and how strongly I felt about killing myself some mornings, it frightens me how I might have done it, and with ease, looking back on it.

Yes the signs are all there, I was jobless and alone most of the time and very into myself, but the upheaval it caused my parents that perhaps it was my fault and that I wasn't trying to lead a meaningful life, would mean I would have killed myself by the time they realised I was depressed and suicidal. Although it's not up to them to realise, talking about it would mean I would know I was depressed. I kind of did, and at the same time I kind of didn't. People often realise your depressed before you do. When I had suicidal thoughts I definitely knew there was something wrong, but by then I didn't really care to tell anyone else. How I got through it came out the other side, I don't know. I'm thankful every day however I got through it.

But in regards to my parents not knowing, well in the end, people think of themselves and when those around you act out of character, you often stress how it's impacting on your life first before you notice there might be something wrong with them. From being a very active school girl with a brilliant social life and everything to get up in the morning for, to being a withdrawn and alone hobbit in my room, they stressed that they wanted that girl back, to make their lives a bit easier. It didn't occur to them why and and for alot of people, parents, or children, it never does until the person they love is dead.

One out of every five of us either do, or will at some stage in our life suffer from Depression. The Depression Alliance based in the UK aim to offer support to anyone who believes a loved one is suffering from depression, or offering support to those with depression directly.

Depression is a complex illness. It comes with a huge variety of symptoms, some not always noticeable. It's onset can be as a result of a birth, a death, and other life-changing events. It can encompass other complex illnesses and as side-effects from drugs. It's onset is unpredictable and lifespan can short or lifelong, most importantly it can without the right help, change the very person you once were, or a person you knew. Everything you need to know about depression will be there on that site. If you are a health care professional I strongly urge that you keep yourself as updated as possible and know everything you need to know about depression and how it can be treated. If you are a regular member of the public then I urge you know how to spot the signs of depression in case you or a loved one ever become depressed.

Suicide, Depression & other Mental Health illnesses are such taboos. I really feel from my experience having someone close to me being depressed, and also being depressed myself, it isn't talked about is often enough as it should. The taboo surrounding Suicide is far worse, and understandably so, but I really believe talking about these things and letting others who may be suffering around us know that it is okay to talk to other people, treatment for depression becomes easier sought out and in the end, with the strong links between mental illness and suicide, lives can be saved. Mental Health issues should not be ignored and put to the side like some freak taboo, they need to be talked about and talked about NOW.

Stamp Out Suicide! is a UK organization focusing on stamping out suicide by education the public and health care professionals on suicide, prevention and supporting those who are bereaved by a recent suicide. If you have known anyone who has ever committed suicide then you will know the devastation it causes.

Linkies (clickable) -- Depression Alliance UK // Stamp Out Suicide!

Cheers

Happy New Year & Resolutions

2010-12-31T08:25:00.004Z

So it's the day before 2011 I've already crossed off one of my new years resolutions on the mental list I made; take a holiday in 2011. That's right. Student Nurse has gone and done what all lunatics do that I always made fun of and booked a holiday for the summer during Christmas. I always thought it was incredible wishful thinking to go and do it but I know my holiday schedule and the entire holiday was £440 + Flights & Transfers so why the hell not? But before you all go "Oh student Nurse, where on earth does one get such a cheap holiday?" It's a self-catered apartment for 3 in Magaluf on the main clubbing strip above a bar. It doesn't have air conditioning and it's during the last week of August. It falls on my birthday and I'm going with my friends. There, I said all that's needed to be said about the intentions of his holiday.

I haven't been out of the UK in almost 10 damn years though. I'm super excited and in an attempt not to disparage my parents honour or whatever they think I might get up to on such a holiday I have instead told them we booked a villa in the quieter (not really but it sounds posher) town of Palma Nova which is next to Magaluf. During my late teens and even now they have never been keen on people my age taking those big "tour" holidays or 18-30 deals and spending an entire holiday getting pissed and ending up on the news, but I'm not getting any younger and I need to let off some steam. Now all I need to do now is try not to appear on the news or pick up some fungal rash from the linen provided in the apartment. If I do that I'm set.

The next quest on my list of new years resolutions is to lose weight. Now I know that is something everyone has on their list but seriously, this is the year I have to lose weight. I've never been really skinny at all, I was moderately chubby during late childhood and I expanded outwards more so into my teen years. My mother always saying "you will grow out of this phase" during my teens and lose the puppy fat eventually transpired to "you will grow out of all of your clothes" in my 20's and now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know losing weight would be extremely beneficial to me, but I just feel like deep down I'm doing it for other people. My mother especially. She is no snake hips herself but I know that my weight really bothers her. She's been pissed off about it for donkey's years and I know I should be all "fuck what my mother thinks!" and some of you would say that too but I do care what mum thinks. It's just, I don't know, I want to lose weight but it's only been 2010 where I've finally felt comfortable being whatever size I am.

Evidently though I have finally come around to the idea of serious dieting with the intention of sticking to it, more so than ever, so I guess with the comfort in my own skin comes the realization that my weight will not benefit me in the long run and now is the time for the big change. Wish me luck.

Third on the list is to make better choices. Now plenty of people go "I'm going to cut out junk food" or "stop drinking or cut down" but seriously, denying yourself pleasures in life will simply make you more desperate than ever. Just make better choices. Perhaps cut back on the amount of wine you drink, or the cigarettes you smoke, or the takeaway you have once or twice a week. "Denying yourself everything will eventually make you miserable and you'll end up depressed" - Brilliant quote from my old GP before he retired when I discussed dieting with him on our last appointment. I saw him so often, maybe once or twice a month smoking and drinking away with his brother and GP partner at our local before his retirement and most certainly after. He was a man who practiced what he preached. He never denied himself of all the pleasures in life he deemed were important to him so I think neither should you or I. But if you're stuck between choosing pringles over a pear, pick the pear for once. Make better and healthier choices. I most certainly am.

Fourth and final is to read more and watch less. When I didn't live at home with my parents and I was instead at University I didn't have a TV. When I told people about this it was as if I was telling them I was purposely denying myself some sort of basic human right. What I was actually doing was saving myself £140 per year and sleeping well at night. I love TV just as much as everyone else but since being home and being in a house that is DOMINATED by whats on the television I really do feel the grass is much greener on the other side. Most of the BBC and ITV-produced shows in my opinion are crap these days and you really cannot knuckle down for a goods night sleep more than finishing the evening off reading a couple of chapters of a great book. Newspapers are a good one too for finishing the evening off with. So long as it's not a stupid newspaper of course that fills you with rage against the human race.

So there you have it. All my boring resolutions that seem alot written down but really are not hard to put into practice. Take a holiday here or there, eat healthier and aim to lose weight, make better lifestyle choices and watch less shitty TV. What are yours?

Happy New Year to everyone out there!

Christmas Stress & Moving On.

2010-12-28T01:11:00.003Z

I've spent the last 3 days mostly pissed.

It can't at all end well for the liver, but 1 bottle of pimms, about 15 pints of lager between trips to the pub, 1 bottle of bailey's, 6 bottle of crabbies, and about a stone in weight between all the food, I've come through the other side of Christmas relatively unscathed. Apart from the slight light-headiness early this morning which I can no doubt blame on dehydration.

I forgot how un-enjoyable a lot of relatively "enjoyable" Christmas' are. I was pain-free this year (physically, and for the most part) and without any huge amount of trauma that left a dark cloud looming over the house and family, but Christmas is always difficult because families make it difficult.

I have spent the last few days in a constant state of anxiety, offsetting disapproving looks from my mother around certain family members to say nothing before I have even said it, by drinking inordinate amounts of alcohol, chomping down on every complementary mince pie handed to me, as a welcome to a family home, and basically zoning it all out and keeping my mouth shut.

I have enjoyed the time in between visiting family I never do during the year by seeing friends and spending time with my parents at home, and my siblings, but that for the most part too has been slightly difficult. It is always the case when you spend more time than you ever would in one day, let alone 3/4, with people you go great lengths to avoid spending time with during the year, I suppose. But it has been difficult and I am glad now that although I have had a virtually mellow Christmas, it is over. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling the same.

The good news is that I have been able to drown out all thoughts of university and my fate as a student nurse by the screams of young children and the clinking of the ice clubs in my bottomless glass, and I'm grateful for the mental break from the madness in my head. Regardless of whatever temporary stresses I replaced them with.

2011 has to be, and will be, a new start for me. It's not just the university stuff and the nursing stuff. My plight for a normal existence this year met serious issues at every corner. Family issues, health issues, relationship issues, friend issues, housing issues. Things that do not cause the normal person so much grief has for me, by in large, left me awake at night and in tears on some occasions. Whether that reflects on my coping mechanisms, my organization, my ability to function as an adult or if it reflects on anyone or anything else instead; it is still my life and I need to control it. I urge anyone else who's had a shit 2010 to do the same.

In the new year I will tackle my immediate needs and push aside my wants. I will begin to put myself first, as I always should have done, and deal with the rest by taking it in my stride. I've never been a huge dealer and rolled with the punches, and by realising that now, perhaps I can make the change.

Good luck to whoever else genuinely wants to make 2011 a much better year than 2010, too.

Ho Ho effin Ho.

2010-12-23T00:58:00.003Z

Between 4 days of the worst flu of my life, inordinate amounts of snow (over 20 inches in my part of rural wales) and picking clumps of ice out my poor doggies paws and coat after each daily walk, it's been an eventful 2 weeks.

On top of all of that, I have been filling in some paperwork here and there that I need to send to my university, for their purpose, not mine, in my attempt to go back to Nursing school some time in 2011 where I left off. Needless to say I have been stressed, and reduced to tears about it.

I don't enjoy Christmas, I haven't for a long time. I never used to get why my father was such a scrooge this time of year until I realised, it really is a crock of shit 99% of the time. 3 years prior to last year, I worked each Christmas day. Two of which were at A&E. Working at A&E on Xmas day isn't so bad, but you do really end up a bit detached from it all, especially if it's a mid-morning shift and you arrive home early evening, clearly having missed the entire day.

Then last year, I hurt my back whilst off from uni, and was basically (as good as) paralyzed from the waste down leading up to Xmas day with the herniated disc. It was only on Xmas day I managed to get out of bed, showered and down the stairs, which took 2 hours, and with the aid of my 5"5 walking stick (mother) and ended up going to bed at 5pm no thanks to 30/500 co-codamols and exhaustion from the pain. Tomorrow marks exactly 1 year from that horrible event, and anyone who thinks I'm a bit nutty marking an anniversary for such a horrible event, obviously has never had such a severely painful & traumatic experience that stays with them.

Now exactly a year later, my back is (somewhat) better and I have Xmas day off, but my spirit is "broken". Christmas this year just reminds me of the worst time of my life last year. On top of that, all the university paperwork mentioned above that revolves somewhat around the event, has shrouded the days leading up to Xmas this year. My mother thinks buying me lots of lovely presents and my favourite, chocolate, will help, she might be right, the proof will be in the pudding Xmas day to see if I (finally) relax and engage in the Christmas spirit. Right now all of the decorations, and the three (yes three) christmas trees my mother has dotted around the house all feels a bit of an imposition on me. Forced, if you will. I hope I can "warm up" in time before it's too late.

To loosen up a bit, my friends have suggested I go out Xmas eve. Something that has been a bit of a tradition, even if I'm working the next day. For obvious reasons I didn't go out last year, what with being in writhing agony in bed, so I'm excited to have a wee tipple this year, without any restrictions since I'm off the next day, and catch up with my friends.

But I'm not a total scrooge, I do somewhat (for the benefit of the little ones in my family) enjoy the good-natured spirit this time of year, everyone is a bit more friendly and people have more spring in their step, even on the snow and ice! I do somewhat enjoy it even if I don't enjoy anything else. So I would like to wish all of the bloggers out there a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year from me, Mary!

Ho Ho frigging Ho!

RANT

2010-11-30T01:25:00.004Z

I've recently been recovering from an Abscess the size of Christ the Redeemer. Obviously, that is an exaggeration of it's actual size, but it was rather large, located in an awkward area and rather painful. If I told you all the details you'd probably all jump me and gut me for not going to my GP, but I didn't until the very last minute and narrowly missed a hospital admission. I was very very lucky. Unfortunately I'll never be out of the woods when it comes to things like this because I have a condition which some might know as Hidradenitis Suppurativa which commonly strikes my underarms, but hopefully I'll never have to suffer as badly as I did last week with it. I'm a bad Student Nurse. I should know better.

By the way, if anyone knows of any ideas to treat HS I'd love to hear it. My GP and the Dermatologist I saw have discussed with me about going on one of the contraceptive pills to manage it. It is a form of acne so it might work, my case is not severe, not anymore anyway (last week being an exception) so they want me to give it a go. However I am skeptical, I don't think I'd be doing my body any favours taking a hormonal contraceptive pill everyday, and I can barely remember to brush my hair most mornings anyway, let alone take a pill. Also, I am kind of anti-contraceptive, not in a Pope Benedict XVI kinda way, but in a "some women don't need their hormones influenced" kinda way. I am definitely one of those women who are better off avoiding it.

Elsewhere in Student Nurse land, I am engaging in a thing with another person. It might be a thing anyway, I haven't decided. I kinda like it the way it is right now (distant and less grief as a result) so we'll just leave that at that at the moment. Things are nice and less complicated than full-blown committed relationships I've noticed. Why are we not all engaging in things? I do realise I am referring to a man I like very much like he is some object but he is not really, but we are not full-blown and I like it that way for now. Thankfully he does too. It's just very stressful given how my last relationship ended and I don't want to fuck anything up. Thankfully, I haven't picked a man who is a wanker this time that might be inclined to slaughter me emotionally if we progress from a thing into a relationship, so I think I'm okay (for now). Who really knows?

On top of all of this I have friends I am referring to right now by their drama just so I can keep up. They all somehow use me as their go-to person for all of their life drama and although I love them dearly, it is draining. Let this list of my friends set the tone of just how hectic my social circle is right now.

Friend struggling with dissertation and bat shit crazy housemates.
Friend struggling with deeply manipulative and controlling boyfriend she broke up with but has to share a house with for 5 more months until contract is up.
Friend who is pregnant and found out the day she declared herself bankrupt and has nobody (but her friends) to support her through this, family gave up on her years ago.
Friend who is pregnant, having an overall very shitty pregnancy and trying to finish her third year of nursing before she pops.
Crazy post-abortion friend being flippant about it, running around pissed to deal with what she's done and ruining her career whilst doing so.

As you might have already guessed, I'm stressed and this blog has helped. Cheers.

Learning something new

2010-11-16T23:10:00.004Z

Mum bounds into my room, completely uninvited and throws a magazine down in front of me. "What have you done today? It's 5pm and you look like you've sat there all day"

Ermmm well, I didn't want to say I spent the majority of the day on this website so I skipped out the less than active moments of my day and told her the good ones.

Walked the dog(s).
Went to the shops.
Saw a friend.
Did some laundry.
Accidentally wiped the entire contents that were recorded off of our Sky+ HD box.
Somehow managed to fall off the pavement outside my house, walking in a straight line and twist my ankle, I walked on in hopes nobody saw (my niece saw).
Spoke to nan, which took 45 minutes, all about her brand new iPhone.
Had a shower.

All inbetween sessions skimming through that website, ofcourse. Teehee.

"Well I got you this, bought it in Sainsbury's. Maybe you can learn a thing or two for when you go back to Nursing school" and she bounded right back out of my room again to leave me in the solace I've grown used to being alone most of the day, and out of uni.

I look down at the magazine, the first thing I notice is the title and then the price. £1.80!! I skim through and it's a total of 32 pages... wow

The Nursing Times, yeah, I'm really gonna learn a thing or two from them, Mum!!!

Degree v Diploma 2.0

2010-11-07T17:10:00.006Z

Student Nurse has had a rough few days/week being sick and woke up this morning with a sore face (wisdom teeth) and was just on failbook reading a small debate between 2 student Nurse friends from school, who are in Universities now and chatting shit basically about why the Degree nursing is better than Diploma, as if anyone gives a monkey's fuck. It's about the Student and what they have to offer to Nursing that counts.

Here is a fact, not an opinion, and quote me on it, I don't care;

Making Nursing in the UK entirely Degree-based will not produce a better standard of Nursing.

Whatever the RCN/NMC/Universities up and down the land tell you. It's bullshit.

However, keeping to the old system of Degree/Diploma options in all Universities available to students will not produce a better standard of Nursing, either.

I'll explain why.

Some might argue that Student Nurse right here was adequately qualified from early August 2004 (when student Nurse was still 15) when she received her GCSE Results to go straight into the Nursing program. I was 16 later on that August and it was the end of year 11. I was free from compulsory education with all my GCSE's. On a diploma level, hypothetically speaking, without all the other jumble preventing kids that age going into Nursing (having to be 17.5 years old, etc) I could have done it. I met the requirements.

I had 5+ GCSE's all in the A-C range.
All of them bar 1/2 relevent to Nursing.
I had my English, Maths & Science (triple science, and human-based not plant!)
I had Level 2 AND 3 Key Skills in Maths and IT (Level 3 is equivalent to AS Level apparently) because the stupid welsh government back then when Key Skills was rolling out everywhere decided to use my school as a pilot programme to give GCSE students more work outside their GCSE's.
I had work experience in years 9, 10 & 11 all in health-related fields.
I had work experience outside school in health care & nursing
I had a shit tonne of references that all could of said "Yeah, she's up for the challenge"

By all means, I was no boffin, the school pushed me much harder than I ever would have done by my own accord, I spent the majority of Year 11 in the PRU (Pupil Referral Unit, basically a cell for naughty pupils) for smoking every lunch hour in the girls toilets and not getting my GCSE Art Coursework done on time, but the PRU was where I mostly got the majority of my work done in the end, ironically.

But I digress,

"Hayley" (generic schoolgirl from Student Nurses school years) was adequately qualified too.

She had 5+ GCSE's
Most of them NOT relevant to Nursing, but still, she got 5 GCSE's.
She got her Maths & Science grades.
She had work experience.
She was able to produce good references if need by.
She had Key Skills qualifications.

Do you see where I'm going?

Then we have "David" an A-Level student who matched the requirements for the Diploma and Degree Nursing Course, he left the same year as I did in 2004, allbeit a few years older in year 13 with A-Levels.

He had 5+ GCSE's
None of them really relevant to Nursing. Except Sociology (which some might argue, is an easy GCSE anyway, I do)
He got his Maths & Science requirements.
He got Key Skills qualifications.
He got 3 A-Levels and 1 AS Level
Human Biology AS Level, grade D, the only one relevant
He has work experience, not all health care.
His Politics, Media "Studies" and English Literature A-Level has somehow informed his decision to enter the field of Nursing.

He still meets the requirements, are you still following, do you get me a bit more now reader?

Up and down the land fresh cohorts of Student Nurses are joining their new Universities, with a "wealth" of qualifications.

Some left school 20 years ago, some 6, some with GCSE's or O-Levels, some with A-Levels (relevant or not) and still been out of school 10+ years.

Some left school the May/June just gone, doing A-Levels, some relevant, some not.

Now before I get the comments on here, particularly from people who haven't been in Nursing School for donkey years and are now out in the field, yes I know that the Common Foundation Programme (CFP) is in place, and yes I know it's "designed" to bring all students up to speed with one another by the end of Year 1 of Nursing on a science/nursing ethics/nursing policy level. But those of you who are actually in the Nursing program right NOW like I am, and have completed to CFP recently will know that it's a crock of horse shit. Particularly in Universities like mine where you have Nursing schools nearby all in-tune with one another teaching the proper CFP curriculum then my school decides it's gonna call it the CFD and then teach you a load of shit and miss other shit out, because the staff on-board at the University don't have the resources otherwise to do it any differently.

Even if they did it properly at my school I think the CFP is still a load of shit. If the CFP was there then why the requirements full stop for any Nursing Program? Just let them all in with oodles of self-belief and "hope" that they all make outstanding Nurses, whatever their degree of intelligence or common sense, and then try and get them all up-to-speed with the acclaimed "CFP" after - it's basically what they're doing now anyway.

So now that all universities are going degree-only in 2013 where is the CFP going? Well according to an academic at my university I got in touch with recently, no where.

I'll tell you why, the CFP is remaining because Universities or the government for that matter, don't have the balls to better restrict the requirements for the degree course when the time comes.

In my ideal world. Requirements for the degree course in 2013 will look like this. (I have included all routes other than A-Level which still, for now, are apparently going to be accepted.

Distinction in the access course (or whatever the best grade in it you can get. Because apparently that course will still be accepted then until it's eventually phased out)

BTEC National Diploma Grades MMD, MDD or DDD (only those who've done one will get those grade meanings)

3 A-Levels and 1 AS-Level (Grades A-C, D only accepted at the discretion of whoever the fuck likes to be discretional about these things)
The AS Level either being Psychology or Sociology
2 A-Levels being accepted only as Biology & Chemistry
Final A-Level being a wild card but still slightly relevant or showing some kind of intelligence at that level, like Politics, or a language, or English

Not Media Studies A-Levels, stupid baccalaureates, stupid Key Skills, fucking Sports "Management"

I mean if you're going to ignore 1000's of applicants from 2013 who perhaps have 20+ years experience as a Nursing Assistant but only GCSE's (relevent or not) all on the basis that they don't have A-Level qualifications, DO IT RIGHT!

On top of that, to make sure those who have all the necessary academic and intellect to enter the degree programme, add this ever-so-important requirement on top.

1+ Years "health care experience"
Placement in the NHS (Lord knows why the NHS hardly give out experience anyway, you think they'd be jumping at the chance for free labour)
GCSE grades as previously stated, akin to mine, than show a broad science/mathematics knowledge spanning back over school years.
Reference from a qualified Nurse saying this applicant is up to the challenge.

*Sigh* But no, they wont put restrictions on the requirements for the degree nursing course. Sure they'll want some health care experience, and a reference from someone like your GCSE textiles teacher, who has no idea what Nursing is but can say this student is up to the job, but that's about it.

The fact is this. If the Government and Universities are going to do this, which it's obvious they are, then they must do it right, or the Nursing profession will suffer more than it ever has.

You'll have mixed-students with varying degrees of "intelligence" and experience once- again running amok on wards calling themselves student nurses and eventually entering the profession and making it grimmer than it already is.
Don't expect the Nursing schools to pick the weeds from the flowers either before this happens, they wont. I've seen it with my own eyes. They're being mentored by nurses too afraid to fail students because it looks bad on their annual appraisal and being monitored by academic staff that quite frankly, don't give a fuck. "Nurses" are qualifying everyday not fit for the job, and making it degree-only wont shape the profession.

At least with all the pre-requisites I've stated the NMC will be able to scrap the CFP because all students will have the same foundation of knowledge, leaving the first year of Nursing entirely up to the universities to teach, and actually fucking teaching them something at a higher level.

And at least with all of the academic pre-requisites and the vocational (work experience, references from actual NHS staff) then universities can be sure they are not just taking on academic boffins with no actual front line experience or no real indication of what Nursing actually is and what it entails. It also takes away the excuse that there is an element of snobbery and "too posh to wash" attitude when this type of approach is taken and as a result churns out very intelligent bedside nurses who DON'T want to act as Mini-MD's!

Teaching degrees, Medical Degrees, shit even sporting degrees and theology degrees require alot more than the standardized A-Level type qualifications, why can't Nursing? What are the government and universities so afraid of just standardizing the Nursing course and not taking a more American or Canadian approach? The standard over there has been very high and for many years for the courses without the fear that Nurses are too posh to wash and want to run around being mini-prescribers taking away jobs from doctors.

Dr.Crippen would be spinning in his blog grave if he read this. It's not to everyone's cup of tea but it's much harder to explain why you didn't do a job proper than just getting it done, my dad would say. In 2020 there will be another review on Nursing by another half-wit Health Minister with no real sense of what's going on in the NHS going at the end of it all "The standard of Nursing needs to be better regulated" not unlike the words spoken 10 years prior.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I've had this blog at the back of my mind for months. Please leave your comments and thoughts on this.

By the way, I am in no way supporting the notion that degree-only Nursing is the best option for the future of the Nursing profession. I believe Nursing can be taught to those of varying academic backgrounds and experience if done right, but it's not being done right. This blog is just stating that if the government are going to do it, do it properly at least.

Potty Mouth

2010-11-01T11:57:00.003Z

Wrote this post out a few months ago, just never got around to posting it because my first placement sucked me in whole then spat me back out half the woman I used to be. I wrote out alot of amazing (and cringe-worthy) things that came out of my patients mouths. I think the knowledge that one of the patients in the female bay I used to work in would say something absurd kept me going some days, because shift after shift without fail for several weeks, one of them said something that left me in tears, and good material when I got back to my flat and me and my flatmate would wind down, smoke and drink inordinate amounts of wine and reflect. So here we are.

*Patient wakes up and discovers IV in foot*

Patient: What is that?
Me: It's a venflon we put in your foot Mary. We're taking it out soon.
Patient: Good, because I have plans to stick this foot up your ass when I have the chance.

-- Said patient did actually kick me up the arse when I bent over next to her bed to pick up a jug she dropped a few days later, at least she's a woman of her word --

*Walking past patient as I was leaving at the end of my shift*

Patient: I'm going to die in this hospital a little slag.
Me: Why do you say that Joan?
Patient: I cheated on my husband.
Me: Oh dear.
Patient: Yeah, during the war, he came back after almost a year away wherever he'd fucking been and I was 9 months pregnant. My twins it was. His mother ticked what had happened but thankfully that old witch died a few months later. He never put two and two together, to this day even, thick as shit you see.

-- Awkward since the husband at the moment was wheeled from another ward he was on by an NA to come and see his wife on this ward and was directly behind me when this conversation took place. Thankfully in his old age he had hearing problems --

*Whilst giving a female patient a bed bath*

Patient: Make sure you give my pussy a good scrub love, been stuffy on this ward I'm probably festering down there.

-- Don't know to this day how I composed myself until I left the patients bedside. The patient was 92 years old and had a mouth on her like nothing else --

*Talking to patient during admission about next of kin details*

Patient: My sons a doctor at the other hospital around here
Me: Oh right
Patient: Yeah, he's a pretentious little shit. Never really loved him as much as the others.

-- Patient was right though, the son was a pretentious little shit indeed when he finally made an appearance --

*Giving a patient in her early 60's a bed bath*

Patient: I tell you what, I wish I'd shagged a woman when I had the chance 20 years ago when I divorced my husband.

*had to double-take what she said*

Me: Sorry what did you say then June?
Patient: You heared *sigh*

-- TMI, June. TMI --

*Whilst sitting with patient infront of TV doing my Kardex, Patient was watching the news*

Patient: I laughed when all them gays got the AIDS.

*I stand up and walk off*

-- Don't even think there was anything on the news about HIV/AIDS. Although her statement wasn't funny one bit I still laugh to this day about it because of the shock-factor. I was litterally speechless at the time --

*Admitting a male patient who was 60 in male bay*
Me: Who can we contact in an emergency or if you need anything, Jim?
Patient: My bird
Me: What's her name?
Patient: Her name is Monika
Me: Is she your partner or a friend?
Patient: She's one of the ladies I uh, meet once in a while.
Me: Oh right...
Patient: She's a prostitute
Me: Right...
Patient: Will she be able to come in and see to me since I'm in the side-room?
Me: Depends what you mean by that, Jim...
Patient: Well if I have a raging boner tonight missy I'm holding you personally responsible. I'm a man of many needs!

-- We kept Jim out in the bay on close watch, turns out "Monika" did come in from time to time to bring him clean clothes. How endearing --

*Running into daughter of patient that died in male bay, picking up his belongings*

Me: I'm so sorry about your dad
Daughter: Oh it's fine love
Me: It was very unexpected, I hope you're okay
Daughter: Oh I'm fine love, I hated the fucker, about to throw all this shit I've picked up in the bin.

That's all I have, for now....

Slapheads

2010-10-31T12:03:00.004Z

I'm working on a slapheads: student nurse edition.

I have been working on it for several months now, if not the last year, due to being inspired by another blogger and it's been so long the name fails me now, but once I find it I will link the original slapheads post that got me going in the end product.

I've only written about a third of what I want for the blog and I need more hilarity, so I'm asking YOU nurses (and NA's) for some inspiration.

Comment and give your input and your experience of infamous "student nurse" that has stepped on your ward and safe to say, has left a trail 10 miles long, write about several if you've had the experience and I'll use it as material to add to the final piece. It will be a collaborative effort!

So I want to hear about the student nurse you've had on your ward. Their personality, their faults, their annoyances, and their good. The more cringe-worthy the better though!

Share! Share! Share!

EDIT: By the by, I've decided to remove 3 of my previous blog posts. I did this because I found them not only incredibly upsetting (for me to read, I am such an emotional moron) but incredibly revealing. Now who wants to reveal a bit too much in a blog? Not NHS Student Nurse. It might be therapeutic but it's also incredibly "dangerous". If I want to keep the blog running then I'm going to have to remove those because though it felt a good idea at the time they now in hindsight could be potentially identifiable. But most of you get the jist of where I am in life right now so it doesn't hurt a few other people can hazard a guess. I'm a Student Nurse. I'm out of University right now (like the other 2 dozen on my course, and courses up and down the land). I will return next year with a vengance. In the meantime, I will continue doing what I do, and thats being an opinionated little cow.

Feeling a bit inspired

2010-10-31T11:39:00.001Z

I'm writing this blog post from my new Windows 7 Gadget for blogger. It's exceptionally handy and has inspired me to finish up a few posts (thankfully nurse related) for some time since I've always got spotify/facebook/twitter/forums running and other things happening on the computer. Sometimes having an extra tab open for blogger puts me off, and thats a shame because I really enjoy having this blog since nobody knows about it and I feel like I can be more myself.

So stay tuned for less-emo NHS Nursing Student.

Out of the shadow, into the sun...

2010-07-16T16:51:00.003+01:00

I'm back. Did anybody even miss me? Probably not.

I went into hiding for a while for several reasons, that I can't be arsed to post, in fear mostly too that I would have to go back into hiding again if i state those reasons, let me reassure you - it's so damn good to be back!

Let's see where we left off. I was anxious about starting placement, and now I am sad that placement is almost ending. I have 3 weeks left. It's unreal how quickly my first year as a Student Nurse went, but part of me is so relieved that it's almost over.

I got through the year relatively unscathed, I have one assignment I failed by just a few marks, but it's due just before I leave in a few weeks so I'm confident I'll pull through the referral. I also failed one of my clinical skills which I'm confident I'll pull through again when I do it again in a few weeks. In terms of placement though, I seem to be heading towards passing this placement quite gracefully unless something major happens (which it wont) so apart from the few little tidbits above, I think I'll be fine and can enjoy a month off at home.

As for my current placement, I wont reveal exactly what my placement area is, as it's quite unique to my hospital and I might get revealed (can you tell I had a major scare and had to close this place down?) but in terms of the knowledge and real nursing care I've picked up over the last few months, I get the impression it's going to be one of my more invaluable placements so I'm savouring every second of it.

I often measure how good a year I've had by what I have learned. I am big on learning and constantly developing myself so the same can be said for Nursing. This time last year I didn't know about 80% of the shit I hear and automatically recognize and relate to on a daily basis now whilst in placement, and for that I am really proud of myself. I knew a lot as a HCA/NA/AHP (whatever you call it) so what I've learned on top of this now really has really impressed me considering I learned it all in one short year. I find myself having seamless and knowledgeable conversations in regards to patient care and anything else that goes with Doctors/Nurses/Whoever will listen and that is especially good when it is benefiting patient care, right? I think so.

On the flip side, I'm absolutely fucking knackered. There are no words for my knackered-ness. My sickness hasn't been very good this year and there has been a lot of personal upheaval, so I am waiting for the bitter end of this first year now to just rest until year 2 begins. It's so mentally exhausting being a Student Nurse, managing the amount of placement, academic and personal time to order my life has been a real struggle, a bigger struggle than I expected it to be, so now I'm wiped out. I'm holding on by the skin of my fingers and just kind of whishing my life away until the summer starts.

So, Here's to year 2, better "life management" in year 2, and the future....

Anticipation

2010-05-03T00:36:00.002+01:00

Sigh; Nursing Student is starting placement soon. She's already spoken to her mentor, the sister, and another senior staff nurse who are all really excited to have a student on board, but she just can't seem to get over the immense stress and anxiousness that is overwhelming her everytime she thinks about going back on placement. She wasn't near nervous when she started her first placement, and it turned out to be the shittest placement ever, let's hope these ill-thoughts she has turn out to be wrong and she ends up having a good placement.

*exits third person*

But part of me is also a little bit excited, only because I'm getting nothing but amazing vibes and energy from the staff I work there, it's optimism to say the least and I'm glad I haven't lost all of mine. I have alot to acheive this placement, mainly because I know now what I need to do to be a better student nurse as each placement goes on. It's all building blocks. When I started my first placement, I didn't know what I needed personally to be a good student nurse, now I know (roughly) my strengths and weaknesses, I know what I need to be a better student, this is somewhat preparing me also just incase anything bad happens. If all else falls to shit; I'll always know what I need to do to keep my going, this is somewhat reassuring, I didn't have this last time. I didn't have goals. I suppose you can't until you really discover yourself, but sometimes when your stuck in the trenches of shit it can really suck when you discover you aren't as good as you wanted to be, but its down there in the trenches of shit you really discover what you're good at too. I'm glad I have these things now. If this placement goes well, I'll come out of it a better student nurse so long as I take control of my own learning. If the placement goes shit, I'll probably still come our of it a better nurse, and more prepared for such a thing to happen.

Did that even make sense? WHOA.....

I haven't visited placement yet, I am hoping to go next week, but they are so busy, and suprisingly my days get filled with business also even though I'm only in University right now, for roughly 2 hours, 2 days a week. I have just compleated a massive assignment and I have an exam coming up soon, but hopefully I'll be able to free myself an afternoon to pop into placement and say hello.

I'd really love to arrange my off-duty well in advance this time, although there is not much off-duty to do, it's out-patients, so 8am-6pm most days and a half day, so I need to arrange those half-days for the next few weeks, especially since Boyfriend is visiting. I also need realistic expectations, do they need to me in 15-20 minutes early, do they need me to stay on some days (depending on what treatments are runing) late, I need to know this stuff. On my last placement I didn't get told any of these, I was made to believe it was some fantastic ward that let their students start on time, and leave on time. By the end of my placement I was there half-hour early and stuck an hour late. I don't mind doing this, I just need to have warning I'm doing this.

Also wanna go and familiarize myself with where everything is, and what everyone does (roughly) is that a bit much? When I spoke to my mentor she giggled and told me to relax, and that I would figure everything out within a week, but just to be able to walk in on my first day and know the admin clerks' names, and know what treatment room is which and does what, and where to take a number 3** if needby.

** Number 3 is what my grandad used to call crying. I'm sure I won't cry. It's only outpatients for gods sake.

Sofa-king wrong.

2010-04-18T01:42:00.007+01:00

This post says all you need to know about the current state of "Free Speech" in this country.

Are we in fricking Iran or something? If that's the case, lock us all up.

It may not be a big deal to you as a reader, or many a blogger out there, it may not even be a big deal to Doc Grumble. But it's a big deal to me. You see blogging is an open-platform to express any kind of thing you deem relevant, so long as it doesn't include the obvious things such as Racial Hatred or Terrorism, I don't see the god damn problem with Doc Grumble writing about his woes with the NHS and is job in general.

But Doc Grumble's NHS Trust has recently told him (and probably others) that he may not blog running up to the election. Weather they know who he is remains to be seen, but it all stems down to the political theme of Doc Grumble's blog. He's been fear mongered by the government in hindsight into not blogging about anything political running up to this election, in fears the whole NHS will read his blog and be politically swayed no doubt (silly) Doc Grumble probably gets a couple of hundred views a day, probably from other NHS bloggers, and then probably some readers who are in the NHS, and then joe public. Doc Grumble is an amazing writer but I don't think he's going to start a new political reform with his blog, nobody is. Dr Crippen did something similiar with getting his work out to a wider audience with the Guardian and the articles he published before he dissapeared, but who ever fucking listens to the opinion of Doctors and Nurses anyway? Thats what Managers are for silly!

Weather this whole thing is because his trust would rather take a neutral point of view is irrelevant, Doc Grumble shouldn't have to. He's not the queen. He can show political favouratism if he should see fit, though for the majroty of his blogs he's actually quite impartial and just tries to get the facts out there. So long as he doesn't do it on an extreme level (such as on the wards, which I'm sure he doesn't) there isn't anything wrong per say with his blog. Not that bringing politics directly into the NHS and on the wards anyway would be so bloody extreme, the majority of the patients on my last ward could have done with it, they all used to buy the Daily fucking Mail from the newspaper cart. But I'm sure he's more concerned with getting patients better, so I digress.

How many other blogs this has happened to I don't know, it may give some idea as to what happened to Dr Crippen a few weeks ago, and the disappearance of Dr Rant some months ago.

It looks like blogging is the NHS's new force to be reckoned with.

Lazy

2010-04-09T00:14:00.005+01:00

The great British summer has begun, and will probably end sometime Saturday....

I have been awaking at around 11am for the last week, and going to bed at 12am.

I have been bathing in the morning (gentle wake up) and showering in the evening.

I have been drinking (non-stop) Diet Coke from a massive beer glass all week, you know the ones with handles. To the point I'm getting acid reflux in the evenings.

I have been watching Judge Judy and Jeremy Kyle (I love good old Judy)

I have eaten my way through my local shop's supply of Pink Wafer biscuits.

I have been getting stuff from the Ice Cream van.

I have been spending time with the little people in my life (by little I mean, the various children in my family and friend circle that have attached themselves to the likes of me)

I have completely ignored all of the work asked over me over Easter (1 huge essay, several quizzes to be done online, etc)

I have been losing brain cells everyday.

I have been LOVING it.

To all the Nursing Students out there, ENJOY your breaks whilst you have them!

Away with the Fairies.

2010-04-04T20:37:00.003+01:00

Fairies seems like it's spelt wrong, in my blog subject title, but apparently it's right. Weird.

I have been in Limbo for that past few weeks, floating between the beauty that my "nice-to-begin" with turned "evil-nightmare-and-i-hate-you-all" placement is FINALLY over, and relaxing somewhat before the next one begins. It's a weird time for little old me, as it's apparent that this year is almost over too. Another few months. I apparently just passed my placement, but I feel like I did quite well on that placement. Considering I somewhat got on with my mentor (turned out she really doesn't want to mentor, she instead would just prefer the pay increment) our relationship broke down in the end, which is really sad. I started re-arranging my off-duty to work alongside other Nurses, that's not because I disliked her, personally we got on well, professionally, I wanted to punch her in the throat. Her total disregard for me and my willing to learn was evident during most of our shifts together, why she ever brought up that I didn't work with her much, and that she was somewhat offended by this in my end of placement review was beyond me for a few moments, and then I realised we were in company of the ward manager, and she was covering her own ass, figures.

Halfway through my placement I complained about several things on the ward, because I felt it was needed. I am not a jobsworth, I don't complain when a hair is out of place, but when I feel like things REALLY need to be picked up on by certain ward managers (who actually don't give a shit) then I will do it. I have never complained during my time in the NHS, about anything, heck I don't complain at all, period. But certain members of staff and their un-professionalism on the ward began taken it a bit too far, and other members who were perhaps younger, and impressionable, such as the two younger NA's employed full time on the ward, began to follow lead. In turn because I voiced my concerns I became a bit of an elephant in the room during certain shifts, when certain members of staff were on. As you would guess, feedback fueled with spite gets back to the wrong people about me and I somehow in the end get accused of having an "attitude problem" and, a bunch of other disparaging remarks that could ruin portfolio and career before it's even began. But thankfully the University and my tutors were well aware I had problems with my placement before this began, and this was somewhat expected. Thank god.

I had weeks and weeks of doubt, upset and ill-feelings about even going into placement. I hardly slept and I was constantly anxious, I wondered if everyone was right about me and I wondered if my own perception of myself and weather I'm cut out for this career was wrong. Until I snapped out of it. It's one thing to make deliberate and damaging comments about me, to perhaps make yourself look better in the staff room. I can take that, in fact I should have almost expected it from staff members who cannot even speak respectfully to patients and relatives, how I ever thought they would do the same to members of staff and students was beyond. But it's another thing to make me doubt MYSELF. I know I'm good, I know I can do better, I know I perhaps didn't try hard enough when shit hit the fan in placement. But I will be a good damn nurse, why? Because I could never be like them. I could never tell a patient to shut up when they are writhing in pain, and the Nurse telling them to shut up is late on the drug round to give them their painkillers. I could never sigh and thank the gods in handover, when a patient that was somewhat troublesome to members of staff died in the night, in absolute agony, without a single person in the world who cared about them by their side. If I was in the worst mood in the world (which I have been in some shifts) I would still go out of my way to make sure my patients were fed, were clean, were comfortable, and smiled. So fuck 'em!

However, there were some fantastic nurses on the ward. Who have taught me a great deal. Who have encouraged me to do things I wouldn't normally do. Who have praised me when needed and who have given me appropriate feedback when needed. Who have somewhat developed a great ability to avoid all drama, and separate themselves from the members of staff who clearly need avoiding. When I worked with them I took note, and the key is just to not get personally involved, at all, with anyone if you can help it. But I know I shouldn't tar all staff in wards with the same brush, and strive to make some friends along the way, so I'm going into my next placement a better student mentally, and I will not make the same mistakes again.

Speaking of next placements, I am off to an outpatients department. It's supposed to be my surgical placement, and my new mentor (seems nice so far) told me over the phone they do plenty of minor surgery, everyday, as well as several nurse-led clinics which I will play a huge part in running as soon as I get my bearing, and I will learn lots, even if I'm not in theatres or surgical wards like my peers, so I'm happy with what I hear so far. Also they said that because they've been without students for ages because various nurses who are qualified mentors have been off sick, maternity etc, they are actually excited to have a student around, and my mentor is newly-qualified in mentoring and really excited about teaching herself. Hooray! People who mentor who are actually interested in mentoring. What are the odds. I go in to see them in about a fortnight to meet them all and have a gander around the department for an hour.

Oh and did I mention it's 8-5 working hours and a I work a half-day on Friday? That combined with my third placement after the summer break being community, and most of the community placements being with district nurses working the same hours, I may actually end up the most laid-back student nurse ever, and my fourth placement is high-dependency, back on a ward, back to shifts. God help us all!

So right now I'm in limbo between a shiteous placement ending, and a brilliant-sounding placement beginning, I have plenty of work to do, but right now I'm trying to get my sleeping pattern back on track (either I'm sleeping way too early or way too late it seems, in par with the shifts I used to do) and chowing down on way too much food so I probably wont actually fit into my uniform in may. Happy Easter people!

Out of the loop, yet again

2010-03-11T00:45:00.002Z

I've been out of the loop, and out of the blog sphere, only keeping up with my regular blogs. But with good reason, I'm coming to the end of my placement in a few short weeks and I've been very busy and very overwhelmed.

Today, one of our long-term patients died. She was admitted to our ward the exact day I started with minor complaints, and a possible but small stroke. She left with much bigger issues. The time I spent with "Mary" was well spent indeed and my journey in getting to know a patient coming from a background in A&E was invaluable. She was, for the most part, a compliant and patient woman, who had alot of time for us as students, and in return we gained alot from her in return. She was aiming to go home only a few short weeks ago, but things took a turn for the worse. It suddenly dawned on us 4 as students that the only woman who had been with us from the start may actually "leave us" before the end. It was a complex and bizarre journey for all of us, for Mary to allow us into her lives, we are eternally grateful.

It took us all by surprise as Mary left us and our ward once and for all today what a journey the last few months had been. For the nurses, for the F1's, and for us as students, last but not least, for Mary. She wasn't one of the ones we wouldn't have picked to have left us in such a way upon admission. Mary was a classic example of how things can take a turn for the worse, and how quickly this happens, and how short life is. She is also a classic example of how quick we as Nurses and Doctors and Students can become attached to a patient and become entangled in their lives.

I've dealt with death alot since being on this ward, but I'll never forget this lady, not ever.

In a stark contrast, another lady who came in a few weeks after the start of my placement, in a bad way, and about to die, left today and medically fit. Albeit she has a long way to go, she was for the most part, a polar opposite to Mary. Requiring constant 1-2-1 due to long-term mental illness and the source of much grief to the night staff, a little sigh of relief today was made when "Anne" left the ward indeed. I did not sign with relief. I had to remind several members of staff who were quick to point out that "Anne" was a so-called "nightmare" that to live for just 5 minutes in her shoes would be a very frightening one, filled with confusion and unexplained anger, unable to get the words out she needs to say, often unaware of where she is. Dementia is one of the cruelest diseases. Anne often sat in her chair, unable to get up and understand why she couldn't breath, and felt pain, when she doesn't remember her years of lung problems and arthritis. She would sit and recall events happening 30/40 years ago when she was still married to her abusive husband, and father to her children. She would become agitated by this, and it would break my heart. Dementia made her forget all the happiest moments in her life, and left her with the worst, she would recall these horrible times over and over again, 24 hours a day. To me, this made her confused outbursts almost justified, I would want to kick and scream too if I was in her position. To breath a sigh of relief to me is inexcusable, we only had to deal with Anne for a few short months, she has to deal with whats going on her head for the rest of her life, the way she left the ward today, she has a lot of confused and afraid years left in her.

Decades of them.

Nursing Assistants

2010-02-12T01:43:00.002Z

I'm having a hard time dealing with something.

Yeah, it's Nursing Assistants.

I suppose I've lived in a sheltered world. When I started banking in my old trust back home under the title of a Nursing Assistant. I did what I was told, assist Nurses. I certainly didn't boss students or younger qualified members of staff around, regardless of how long I had been in the post. But then again the trust I used to work in I seldom worked alongside Students for one reason or another, oh yeah, and I also did what I fucking told like I've stated before.

Months after my first banking job I managed to acquire a lot of hours in what is called in most hospitals as the Clinical Decision Unit. Our CDU backed onto A&E for obvious reasons and before I know it I had a good, stable NA job in A&E (I was actually one of only 4 NA's at the time they had ever employed in our A&E, before it was qualified only) Surprisingly no qualified nurses lost their hours as a result of my employment so I wasn't another budgeting strategy to cut lose a couple of Band 5's. Instead I and my 3 other colleagues were more of a "coping" mechanism for the extra minors bay they had built onto A&E. They felt it was time for staff (who were able to do the job, AKA who had the clinical skills) to come in and take a load off the basic "Nursing" care (such as prepping the beds, use your imagination what someone like me could have done in A&E) whilst the Nursing staff moved forward. I had the time of my life and everyone was welcoming, most importantly, I never felt out of my depth even when A&E was fully booked on a Friday night and our local out-of-hours GP service backing onto our A&E was busting at the seems, along with CDU next door having to be a sort of/kind of/technically was an overflow. I was heavily supported and -

I took fucking orders and did what I was told.

That's not to say I shouldn't now, as a student, be giving orders to our NA's at my placement or telling people to "do what they are told". I am not one for confrontation unless I feel strongly against something that has happened before my fucking eyes. We ALL work together for our patients! But recently on placement, just like my god damn life path was intended (down shit creek) I have seen some stuff from our NA's that I am strongly against. And that's them believing they have been in this business long enough to believe they are a Nurse, and that they can work autonomously, and basically do whatever the fuck they want.

So with me being midway through my placement and all, I thought I'd make a list of my own personal objectives in regards to NA's.

I will not, in any way, feel threatened by an NA who feels like he/she is "mentoring me" when the qualified staff are busy because he/she feels like "ward sister would want that" because they are best friends outside the workplace. NA's can't sign off my competencies so in some ways, their input is actually useless, in some ways also, they know jack shit about what I am doing, so what they try to do with me is useless again.

I will not, and cannot be disturbed during supervised drug rounds, because Mrs Thomas in bed 6 needs a commode, and the NA is about to go on their break in 2 minutes. I'm already petrified as it is most days during a drug round and it takes a lot for my mentor most shifts to get me to go on a full one with her. It scares me to death. An NA disturbing and pissing me off during one makes matters worse.

I will no longer explain and then counter-explain my actions to an NA over and over. When I came on this ward I was told to use my initiative from the theory I have already gained, and this will be heavily supported by the qualified staff. And it is. It's just not by the NA's. The Nursing theory I have in my head even after 5 god damn months tells me that if a patients blood ox level is low, then if they are usually on oxygen then I should put it on. I don't have to explain this to an NA. I usually don't have to explain this to a Nurse most of the time. I just do it. I don't have to explain why to an NA in great detail because most of the time it goes over their heads an they think it's something "naughty" like I shouldn't be doing it and ask who told me to do it. MY GOD DAMN INITIATIVE AND INTELLECT AS A TRAINEE NURSE TOLD ME TO DO IT!

I will no longer try to explain or convince the NA stuff that Manual BP over the Dinamap is better. Only a fucking idiot wouldn't know that. "Just use the machine". "Why aren't you using the Dinamap? She's really poorly and that's gonna get you the obs quicker". Errrr, her being ill is the reason why I'm doing a fucking manual ob. It's scary sometimes how much a difference on an EWS observation chart a manual observation can do. Especially if resps are done PROPERLY as well as pulse and BP. But no, this goes over most of the NA's heads once more, in fact the amount of times I've flicked through an obs chart recently and seen an unsigned, undated EWS score of 3 on otherwise stable patients chart is disgusting, and really fucking dangerous. And talk about resps, most of them just mark normal range on the obs chart without taking a full resp count, or one at all. Resps are so important, if not the most important observation. It's brought tears to my eyes in anger on more than one occasion on placement this month. I still haven't figured out who's taking these shitty obs, not dating them and not signing them, but I will.

I'm not talking about all NA staff here. The majority of permanent NA staff on our ward are good, it's the part-time or regular bank workers that come onto our ward quite often that are worth their own weight in shit. They don't have the appropriate training, but maybe some of the things they are doing such as obs on acute patients is just something they shouldn't be doing. I feel anxious as hell getting things wrong by my patients, particularly obs, even more so if they are acutely ill and not stable, and on hour obs. How do these people sleep at night cutting corners? Probably perfectly so. They don't have a registration or pin of their own on the line if they fuck up, they have whoever is working above them, but then they see little the error of their ways because they don't actually understand the severity of what they are doing, or care little for what they are doing. I suppose it's a number of things. I for one do not (in order) want to kill a patient, get a nurse disciplined/dismissed/struck off for fucking up and killing a patient whilst I am working under them, and I do not want to lose my place on the course for making a major error and doing all of the above. I don't know weather I care enough not to want to make errors, or educated enough, or perhaps a mixture of both. I'm just sick of a certain sub-cat of Nursing Assistants all together, trying to do things beyond their means, then care little for the mistakes they make or what they are actually doing.

/End rant. It's 3am. Good fucking night!

Hmmmm, what to say?

2010-02-06T00:33:00.003Z

This blog hasn't gone dry, honest.

I'm working on a new template (yawn) and working 42 hour weeks on top of having a life (double yawn) and also trying to get through my slapheads: student edition (hopefully this will induce no yawns) which at the moment I'm finding difficult.

I have had a weird few weeks, I have 8 weeks left now, I am halway through. Oh fucking hell, I am halfway through this god damn placement, yet the end does not appear in sight. It's exhausting on all kinds of levels, I'm so tired I can't even fucking sleep most nights because my tiredness superpasses me. For £3.30 an hour on my bursary working in this damn hospital on this ward, a medical student who doubles up as a bank NA in his spare time hit the nail on the head today when he said it was litterally slave labour. Supernumery my arse indeed.

But it's not that I'm having any kinds of problems, I'm not. I actually love my placement, it sucks that (sometimes) I'm counted in the numbers because that means I can't take my "study half" (I take a half hour each shift to go on the computer or look through my books) but I like the pressure, it reminds me of my time in A&E and my time in A&E was the most memorable time of my life, so it suits me fine. Myself and my mentor have had a few problems, but we're getting alone fine now, and I'm set to have a cracking halfway review and end point review...

I'm just knackered, I barely eat, it's just tiring, so I'm gonna go now and be back when I'm alot more cheery, bye bye.

Piss off!

2010-01-19T00:01:00.003Z

Just when I thought the Nursing Times could not get any shittier, they drop a load like THIS

For a start, I am pissed that it's a damn English "magazine" or whatever they wanna call themselves, and they are publishing shit on ITALIAN Student Nurses. As if Italian students have any bearing on British ones? For a start, for British Student Nurses, the figures would be higher.

However when health professionals smoke it makes it more difficult for them to encourage patients to stop.

You're right. I 100% have REAL difficult telling my patients to quit the fags. Why? Because I smoke 20 lights a day. No really, it's so difficult telling Mark, a 65 year old morbidly obese man with chronic COPD with a past history of CVA and heart failure that smoking is NOT the way forward. Not really. I am an otherwise perfectly healthy 21 year old woman, the fact that I smoke is irrelevant to my patient care. I'm giving advice whats best for them, the sake of my health is irrelevant in the equation.

I don't have any problems telling my patients that perhaps they should seek advice to quit smoking. I often sympathize with them when they say it's hard, and that they have previously tried and failed.

I am not beholden to the Health Service and just because I am at the forefront of health care delivery does not mean I should be the picture of health so I can set a perfect example to my patients. I am only human, and every single human out there has their flaws. My old GP before he retired was a massive piss head, he smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and god did everyone who used to venture into our local on a Friday know it. But when it came down to it and I saw him at my surgery 2 weeks before he retired he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye like he always did because he and I knew what he was both going to say, and that was if I was going to quit smoking. Sure doc, one day. In the moments he asked it didn't occur to me once that he smoke, or drank. But in the moments he asked it just occurred to me he was doing his job. His primary importance at the time was me, his patient. His concern for my welfare was genuine, it wasn't impaired by his own struggle with smoking and if he thought asking me about it knowing full well I knew, was going to influence my decision to quit smoking. That may be because he knew I was a sensible girl, but that may be because he knows what he does is irrelevant and should have no bearing on my decision over my health.

In my opinion, if a patient is saying "How can you tell me to lose weight when your fat yourself" or "How can you tell me to quit smoking when you smoke yourself" then the patient is looking for excuses, sometimes like I do. And won't do anything you ask regardless how much advice you give them.

And at the end of the day, advice is all we can give. What can we do if they don't take it? All we care about as health professionals whilst they are in our care is their health, that doesn't actually mean they will care about their own health just as much.

However, I'd actually love to see the government just try and get some of my fellow student Nurses of the fags. Utter fucking chaos. Let's get MP's to stop thieving off us first. Let's get debt advice agencies employ people with epic credit ratings. Let's employ teachers with relevant degrees. Let's get our hospitals bug-free. Let's get pigs to fucking fly The list is endless.

Unexplainable: This article cannot be explained.

2010-01-17T04:53:00.003Z

What the fuck is this "article" in the Nursing Times this week.

Click here for sheer bollocks.

One, a spider hair in the eye is not rare. I flushed many a 12 year old boy's eye out in A&E because they were stupid enough to keep tarantulas *shudders*. A girl I went to school with has a brother who keeps many of them, over 2 years in A&E I think I saw him about 6 times. Until he was clever enough to realise he should start wearing glasses to handle the buggers.

And two, you don't need a damn spider hair in the eye to realise that communication is key between a "clinician" (I hate that damn word) and the patient. Diagnosing every day is a mammoth task and anyone involved in diagnosing must sometimes read between the lines to find out what really has caused a patients ailment. Any triage Nurse will tell you that. Any Children's Nurse or Disability Nurse (or any RN in a working environment where communication is impaired) will tell you that. Any Doctor or GP will especially tell you that.

The Nursing Times are so pathetic. Go find some real news!

You can't save the world.

2010-01-13T01:07:00.005Z

NHS Nursing Student is absolutely knackered, combined with the fact that she didn't really have a "relaxing" Christmas break, what with the back pain and parents in close proximity, it was only a matter of time the reality of everything hit her having been thrust back onto the wards straight from break.

She's absolutely exhausted, belated, depressed and has the post-Xmas blues that's claimed many a student nurse over the xmas period that's caused them to drop out.

*sick of talking in god damn third person*

Today and Saturday were really hard shifts and have well, hit me like a tonne of bricks. Today I was in charge (supervised of course) of some very acutely ill patients and I realised how much of the patient journey and nursing care I'm actually powerless over. That's not because I'm a student and not experienced enough yet, that's not because I can't treat them the way a registered nurse can, it's just the way it's been with these particular patients. This is because most of the time, when an elderly patient is acutely ill, then the outcome can sometimes be no good. All of my patients are elderly, all have had CVA's and most of them with complicated medical histories, at this time of the year, they are riddled with all sorts of nasty bugs, pneumonia or chest infections brought on by the heat of the ward and yeah, the outcome so far is bad. I feel absolutely deflated by the whole situation.

I absolutely love my ward, I love my buddy mentors, and the people I work with. I feel no ill-feelings about going in the morning, but I feel very heartbroken at the end of a late shift when I'm walking home and all I've done for the greater good of my patients that day is assist them in dying peacefully as possible. It's a good feeling and a gut-wrenching feeling all at once. Sometimes, I just go home and pray that one of them makes a miraculous recovery.

But life must go on, the snow is falling here in NHS Student Nurse land and it's falling thick and fast so perhaps tomorrow I can get the much-needed sleep I've needed without worrying all night, ready and fresh for my shift on Thursday.

PS: I just checked the blog stats, WOW! Lots of visitors, I will endeavour to make more happy, go-lucky blogs, or at least informative in the future, to keep you all satisfied (yeah right). If your a student nurse, please don't be shy!

Slapheads: In the works?

2010-01-10T05:05:00.003Z

NHS Nursing Student is so very busy with work placement at the moment and the fact that she is now also COMPELLED to write a Slapheads post all thanks to Nurse Anne's epic RGN version. Of course, it's a stolen idea from Mental Nurse. But it's good to see other peoples take on it. NHS Nursing Student is in a oh-so-interesting Tutor group, so she will draw inspiration from her experience with these people/personalities. In the tutor group's recent Christmas lunch, a photo was taken, and NHS Nursing Student looks like she's surrounded by the cast of Fraggle fucking rock. So you can imagine what kind of people NHSNS is going to talk about. Brace for a week or two until she finishes it.

In the meantime; Placement is laborious. Personal life could be better. Back is healed. Possible liver complications due to too much co-codamol overcome. Learning lots on new placement. The BNF is NHS-NS's best friend. Ward sister is not NHS-NS's friend. Ward Sister is however NHS-NS's Mentor. Ward central heating gets to NHSNS. So does the snow. So do people in general.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T20:45:00.002Z

NHS Nursing Student is better. NHS Nursing Student can walk now so she regards this as being better. I never wanna feel pain like I did again. I'm going to go and see my GP later sometime this month and perhaps a Chiropractor to get my back seen to so it never happens again. The utter fear of the kind of pain I had to endure over the Christmas holidays was enough to evoke change, that is for sure. I'm going to change my lifestyle and become more active. So less student crappy food and more walking to the shops, more walking in general. I've started doing stretches in the morning, as soon as I get up. My back is still sore but I notice if I do stretches on my bedroom floor as soon as I rise from my coffin I feel more limber after then before I even hurt my back, so I suppose it's doing me some good. I think I'm going to invest in a piece of gym equipment to place in my flat rather than having to fork out for a gym, since I have neither the time nor money for it. Any ideas on what kind of equipment I can get that is gonna help my back would be good. My brother suggested a rowing machine, my other brother suggested a cycling machine, I don't know if either will be of any good at the moment, I'll have to look into it.

I'm wishing you all a happy new year. I hope you all enjoyed the festivities of last night and if you didn't because you were stuck on a ward, or in an office, or whatever your job is, then I hope you at least enjoyed the turn of a new decade. I started the evening at a family party. I was originally meant to spend the night with my boyfriend and friends back at Uni but because of my back I was forced to stay home for the week with the family. The night went well until a family brawl broke out, it's disappointing for my father since he was bargaining on going a whole 10 years without decking my uncle, but he couldn't resist last night and the latter of the evening involved a tequila-fueled NHS nursing student gripped like a leech on her fathers back trying to prize his hands away from my uncles neck. Oh well, you can't pick your family.

For the next few weeks, between more trust induction shit and uni shit, combined with a full weeks placement, I will be doing (combined with travel) a good 50 hour week. It's criminal with the money we're on but it's got to be done. Nursing news right now is a little slow, so hopefully I'll be back with more updates in the coming weeks and blogs that might be of some relevance to Nursing.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!

Back Pain

2009-12-26T13:49:00.002Z

NHS Nursing Student has been down, literally, with back pain this Christmas week.

What started with an innocent shopping trip ended in tears the day before Christmas eve because I slipped on ice, and lost my balance. I didn't fall straight on my ass, I went about my business in fact, and later that day when climbing into bed, moved a little awkward and bam, the back completely went. I fear my sciatic nerve had some part in it, as the pain is radiating mostly down my right leg. I have had pain similar to this over the years following a bump in the car, but nothing like this. I spent xmas eve crawling back and forth to the toilet, in floods of tears. By Christmas day I was a little bit mobile, able to actually walk my way down the stairs with the help of my 5ft walking stick (my mother). We managed to get the attention of a doctor on Christmas day (not my request, but at the request of my worrying mother and boyfriend!) and as expected, no magical pain killers given to me on Christmas day, he told me if I was in pain enough I could go to the GP next week and get something. But to be honest, I'm fine with ibuprofen and co-codomol. My mother is however not fine with me being in pain.

You see when my mother, at 46, a few Christmas' ago, went down with Sciatica. The GP came and prescribed her Diazepam. She was expecting the same for me, and I don't blame her. The look in my mothers eye when she came into my bedroom on Christmas eve morning whilst I was flat on my back in tears was enough for us both to realise I was in the same amount of pain she was that Christmas a few years ago. She described it to be along the lines of "worse than childbirth, like giving birth to twins through your arse!" believable mother, really quite believable!

Don't get me wrong, I was in utter agony, on Christmas eve I even proclaimed a few times "I wanna die!!!" but a little pain is something I must except in this life, and I believe this should definitely be the case when it comes to back pain.

Self-medicating with the help of ibuprofen, voltarol and co-codoamol and the like has done me wonders I believe. I'll never forget when my mother had her first diazepam when she had Sciatica. Whilst it was in full swing, with the help of my father, she got up and bounced to the loo without showing many signs she was in the utter agony she was an hour before. I thought to myself, that cannot be good for her back, and it turns out between doses of dizepam she was in as much, if not more, agony as before. Why? Because under the cloud of diazepam, she was walking on an injured back perhaps causing more strain and being totally unaware of that fact. it took my mother almost a week to get out of bed on diazapam, it's taken me a little over 2 days. I've been moderately active and at the same time taken the rest I need, and known when and when not to walk in fears it will just make my back worse. Co-codomol and some voltarol, or whatever I felt like taking when I needed it, gave me the courage to get up and go to the loo, get down on the floor and do some stretches etc.

A little pain is what we need. Particularly for bad backs. Strong pain killers hide the dangers of a bad back, particularly when your drugged up enough to go about your business on them. I'm thankful this is what the nurses and doctors tell our patients in placement too, when they insist they are not getting out of the bed onto a commode unless they have had the strongest painkiller they can be prescribed. It's essential they actually get up and move without them unless of course the pain is associated with something else alongside back pain.

And as for placement, I start back on the 4th, weather my back will be up to the challenge in time remains to be seen, if I am still in pain and unable to walk properly on Monday I will go to the doctors and ask for a note, if I was in some outpatient department or a less heavy ward I would probably have no problem going back on the 4th, but I am on an elderly medical ward and most are manual handling with a slide sheet etc. It's very heavy work. Unless I want to get medically discharged from the NHS at 25 with chronic back problems I'm going to start looking after myself, and that involves making sure that I do not go back into practice until I know my back is 100% better. I know my Uni and my placement wont like it if I don't go back straight away, but I really don't give a shit if they have a problem with it, my health is important.

On a side note, has anyone ever used a TENS unit for back pain? I'm thinking of purchasing one.

Reflecting on my first week

2009-12-13T00:56:00.002Z

I am at home this weekend. For the duration I've been simultaneously fighting over the tin of quality street, avoiding the immanent spillage of diet coke (since I'm clumsy) over my mother's new "it's not yellow it's sandy gold" living room carpet, and reflecting on my first week as a proper nursing student, in practice.

I posted previously about my first shift, but time got the better of me (since I was doing back to back early and late shifts) and I didn't have time to go back and write new blogs, I'd written drafts, felt differently the next day after I collected my thoughts, and deleted them. So I guess it's time to reflect thoroughly on my first 4 shifts.

Shift 1 was okay, as previously posted. Thinking back it was a bit overwhelming, perhaps I should have taken more time to say that I needed to just step back and observe, establish where everything is, and who everyone is, like another student on my ward. But I'm the kind of girl who likes to get stuck in, so perhaps I benefited better from that, since I discovered where everything was, and fast! On the bus home I ran into a girl whom I'd met last year at some random house party who was also a student and worked on my ward on her very first placement, strange coincidence, but she says she remembers her first day as a nursing student fondly on that ward, and I think I will too.

Shift 2 was very, very peaceful. A far-cry from the roller coaster that seemed to be my first shift. For a start, I met my buddy mentor, who is an absolutely darling. She allowed me to use the first few hours of the shift to get my "shit in order" (her words) so I spent 45 minutes trying to find the ID card place, the library, the damn room where the rep meeting on tissue viability was, the staff toilets and the canteen. I somehow found myself almost walking into the mortuary, before head-dead-person-guy shouted "what the hell are you doing nursing student!!!!!" before I ran away like a kid that just broke a window. When I got back to the ward (after roaming 3 separate buildings) I was by default, with my mentor on the men's side of the ward, which is much more peaceful and more comical than the ladies side. I've been there ever since. I did lots of fun and interesting things that an over-enthusiastic nursing student probably would find exciting, such as observing the insertion of an NG tube, going to X-ray to see if it's in the right place, coming back and helping to set it up. Then I assisted in a drugs round. Before I knew it, it was time to go home. I was actually kind of sad. But absolutely loved it and didn't at all feel overwhelmed that day.

Shift 3 was like being hit in the face with a sack of shit. I for some reason picked a late, on the day of the ward Christmas party. 2 qualified, 1 NA and me were on duty in charge of 20 patients, that were mostly immobile and basically dependent on us, doubly incontinent and grouchy for some reason tonight. To top it off, the ward was boiling hot and nobody wanted to know about it in estates since it was late afternoon.

For some reason, since the first 5 minutes of shift 1, the FY1 on our ward has got me marked, she's absolutely lovely but assumes way too much of me and my ability and competency as a student nurse, so asks me things like "can you set up an ECG for this patient ASAP" or "Bed 5, 11 and 16's venflons have tissued, can you replace them?". So that made the shift 20x more stressful because before I could say no to any of these requests, she was off and away doing something else with her back turned and it was up to me to prioritise these tasks in my head and what ones I was gonna bombard the qualified nurses with first. As it turns out, one of the qualified nurses was a jobsworth from the bank with us that night, and she knew just about as much as I did; jackfuckingshit. So when it took me, the FY1 and the qualified that's permanent on the ward all of 5 minutes to figure this out, not only were we keeping our eyes on the patients on the ward, we were keeping our eyes on the bank nurse who seemed to be unsure of any task laid to her. Fortunately, the short-staffed issue that night is a one-off I've been told, and nothing serious happened. Unfortunately, the next morning during handover glaring errors were noted by the night staff in patient care, thanks to the bank nurse. So that left me feeling a little deflated.

Shift 4. Absolutely lovely. Aside from the fact that my flatmates weren't keeping me awake until 4am, I woke up feeling a little bit mindful of the night before, but I assumed a shift couldn't get any worse than that, so I went back on the ward feeling more optimistic than ever. The staff were happy and helpful, thanks to having a wonderful night before at the Christmas party (bitches!) and were ready and willing to help me, and I got alot done. I learned alot about wound care, and got some time to help alot of the NA's and leave the nurses do tasks that I couldn't really assist with, and the shift flew. We had a few deaths, and I was able to help perform last offices, the ward heating issue had been fixed, or just altered, since the ward was 10x less hot, and I even got some food down the neck of a patient who really hadn't eaten anything in DAYS! So that put me in the good books with the FY1's, the consultants who came on the rounds, and the nurse. At lunchtime I got a call from my mentor, my actual mentor, who has been on holiday all week but was nice enough to ring me during my break and tell me that the staff had "raved" about me last night at the party, and that she couldn't wait to work with me next week, and we're gonna have a "hell of a time" together over the next month, so that left me feeling great.

On Monday we have a work day, but based at Uni. Where basically my tutor group bang on about their first week in practice, and I really can't wait to talk about mine!

First day as a Student Nurse!

2009-12-07T17:54:00.004Z

Well, today happened, I dreaded it all night before, and at 5.30am I got up and lugged my lazy ass into town, bright and early for my very first day in placement.

All I can say is this: I hope it lasts.

The ward was amazing. The staff were lovely. My mentor was off sick (shocking) but will be back next week and I'm told she's the meanest and baddest ward sister in the hospital, but she loves her students like their her own children (together we will be unstoppable....) The nurse:patient ratio was sickingly awesome. I don't wanna say how many qualified nurses were on the ward (I'll make Nurse Anne jealous, and rageful) but there was more than enough to care for all patients. I was placed in a massive 11 bed bay full of females who were stroke/actute medical, I was originally assigned to my buddy mentor and was just to take part in basic care of her patients in that bay. But ended up doing 10/11 patients for basic care AND obs! (one told me to piss off for both, oh well) I later spent the day sitting down with my buddy mentor discussing obs and what are the warning signs I need to look out for, what I should do etc about EWS scoring, what I can do for patients locally if their obs are off, like their oxygen levels for example. It was really good and tomorrow I'll be much more attentive with obs!

I later spent more time doing basic care (very dependent patients) fluid balance etc. I'm not gonna say I was left to do alot on my own, because I was never alone in the bay, I was always being watched, but I used my initiative alot of the day from my HCA experience and my nursing theory thus far, so I got alot done suprisingly for a nursing student on their first day. I even had enough time to do manual BP's since the obs machine was reading a few extremly low, that's something I never had time to do as a HCA, it's shocking how I managed to do about 8 on top of machine obs for 10 patients.

Here's the interesting part, just as I was knuckling down, preparing patients for lunch, a guy walks in and does it all for the patients! WOW! They have full-time catering assistants who serve the food! And he collected the plates. I was stunned. Oh and he did the tea rounds! It left me and the nurses time to feed two or three dependent patients, which was lovely.

Tomorrow I'm taking two patients to get CT scans, off to get my ID card, going to meeting with the two other students to talk about tissue viability since there is ALOT of fricking ulcers etc on this ward. Hopefully I'll be back in time for obs then. The shift goes extremly fast.

Oh and I had a break!!!

More crap from Uni.

2009-11-30T16:50:00.004Z

I went to a series of practice support sessions recently and the one we had today regarded time sheets, help on placement, etc etc... and then uniforms.

Tomorrow I have a trust induction, I'm gonna sit in a room for the entire day cluing up on my fire regs, violence policy and the like. I have to wear my uniform. Fair. The practice facilitator for my trust is gonna be there and she is gonna take a look at us in them to see if we need to change anything.

I've been told today under no circumstances can we wear uniforms to and from placement. UGH! This has just made my life 10x harder in the morning and in the afternoon.

This morning when I got up I washed and pressed my dress, I washed my tights and cleaned my shoes. What have I got to do now? Stick on my minging lounging clothes and head into town early tomorrow morning with my lovely pressed dress stuffed in a bag!

Oh well, at least when I get into placement I'll have a nice changing room to change in right?

No.

They expect us to change in a minging staff toilet!!! What is the fucking point in preventing carrying infections out of the hospital when your gonna get dressed in a damn dirty toilet.

Plus I spent £30 on a nice long coat to cover my dress.

I'm fuming!

What a week...

2009-11-29T21:52:00.002Z

Many thanks to Militant Medical Nurse (Nurse Anne) for being a great sport and adding my link to the page, she is inspiring! I haven't had this blog up for long and already suffering from bouts of BlogBlock but hopefully when all the Degree Drama (as I like to call it) dies down and the Nursing Times and Newspaper websites have something interesting to report about Nursing then I'll have more to say here. I effin hope so anyway. In the meantime the element of traffic I've been having to this blog has been encouraging and I hope you all stick around because I promise I'll have more up here soon. In the meantime you can go back and read my BBC article and others if you feel like your that bored.

It's been a crazy week, I did about 10000 hours revision for those 3 exams friday and I'm still absoloutly knackered now, and awaiting the results. Tomorrow there are no more Nursing lectures, just a few Nursing practice seminars since we are officially in Placement time, tuesday I have a trust induction and then a few more semianrs in the week. Then the next week after that I go on 4 days placement. Can't wait! Tomorrow I'm gonna ring to find out where I am on the off duty.

In the meantime, I'm off to catch up on Eastenders, House, Gavin and Stacey and experiment with hair styles for placement, since it needs to all be up. Currently my hair is thick, purple, and layered right to the top. Gonna be a challenege.

Your prize is in the post.

2009-11-28T09:24:00.004Z

I don't know what to think about this to be honest.

I came across this article, whilst trawling through the search engines early this morning.

Older nurses who do not have degrees or diplomas will be able to have their career assessed for the chance of a “cumulative” degree designed to counter academic snobbery in the workforce

Interesting. So old-timer Nurses are going to get their skills updated, yes? Then I read further.

Ann Keen, the minister in charge of nursing, said that a scheme was being developed to allow nurses who joined the NHS without degrees or diplomas to be recognised for the skills they have acquired over the years. Ms Keen, a former nurse, said that this would help to address concerns about the growth of a two-tier workforce once a degree is made mandatory for all nurses in 2013.

Interesting, so they are going to just give Nurses a degree based on the skills they have already (some perhaps even outdated, I have met a ward sister once who had never even done a manual handling session despite it being enforced for years and years now) rather than allowing these Nurses the opportunity to gain something out of it.

There are other ways to deal with academic snobbery. First would be to see if it even exists! Over the past few years all NQ Nurses in Wales have had degrees, I have never seen nor heard of a culture of academic snobbery there. As well as 1 out of 3 NQ Nurses in England have degree's already. Handing old-time Nurses degree's out like they are prizes at the raffle isn't really going to do much.

It's not like they are even going to be getting a real degree that matches up to the Diploma and Degree system currently in place or to meet the change in curriculum that might occur in 2013. If Nurses who trained 30 years ago actually came to University now, and did the stuff that Nursing students are currently doing, the majority would shit a brick.

Yesterday I did an exam in Sociology, for that I needed to know inside out different types of Health Inequalities and models of Health Promotion. For my Biology exam I needed to know Bone Formation inside out. As well as the cells, hormones etc responsible for Bone formation and different types of diseases associated with Bone. I needed to know about Stress and the role of the nervous system, which was mainly Sympathetic and Parasympathetic and a shitload of info on the long-term effects of stress on the patients. I needed to know about Brain development in children and adults (which I actually didn't fucking realise until I read the exam, but that's another issue I'm kicking myself over) I needed to know about Homeostasis and all the fancy pancy words associated with it and what they mean, and regulation of arterial BP due to Homeostasis. For the Psychology exam, I needed to write two small essays on Life Cycle Changes and Learned Helplessness, with memorized references, I did alot of reading for that. About 100000000000 fricking hours. And I'm still not even sure I passed in hindsight.

It was a long fucking day looking back on it. It was a long frigging few weeks studying for it all too. But it was just 3 end of module examinations, at the end of 1 bastard term, the first term in my first year of Nursing school.

Nurses who have been in the profession a long-ass time wouldn't have even scratched the surface of some of the stuff I had to do yesterday. But that doesn't mean when I leave University I'm going to be a royal bitch on the wards and a snob because these Nurses don't have the applied knowledge that I do. That would be foolish. Because experience is worth more than any kind of knowledge. But wouldn't it benefit these Nurses, even 20/30 years down the line in their career to have a bit of both. Particually now the role of a Nurse is changing. Some things in the future may not be so easy to "pick up as you go along".

Under the cumulative degree plan, nurses could send their list of achievements for formal academic assessment by a university, which would award points towards a degree. Ms Keen said that, unlike the top-up schemes that upgrade a nursing diploma to degree level, it might not need to involve further academic work.

Why the hell not? Why no academic work? Old-timer Nurses would benefit from LEARNING some of the stuff younger Nurses do, not just giving them degree's because it seems fair and will avoid bullying in the playground during recess.

I really don't know what to think about this. I thought the idea to make Nursing a now all-degree profession was to raise the standard of care. Now it just seems like the government and the RCN have pushed forward with it to make Nurses seem more "professional" and the like.

Ann Keen commented saying that she felt insulted that a member of the public compared that of her Nurse training to an O-Level (GCSE) here is the actual quote.

She described how one person outside nursing had recently compared her 1970s accreditation to being “hardly worth an O level”.

First off, I would be more concerned if that came from WITHIN the Nursing profession (cause there, then, you would have "actual" evidence of academic snobbery in the profession, not public snobbery) and two, of course the old nurse accreditation is worth something. But is it worth a degree? To be decided.

This whole thing in general makes a mockery out of NQ's coming out of University right now with diplomas and degrees because they work fucking hard, it makes a joke out of me and my colleagues currently working hard for the degrees, and it gives older nurses that might go through with this a false sense of what degree and diploma nurses currently do, and that they are perhaps up to par with the standard of nurses coming out of university.

I'm not saying don't give them degrees. I'm not saying send them to school for 3 years! Just for gods sake make them benefit from it by actually learning something.

Oh and besides from it being a mockery etc, it also wastes a lot of money. But if any of you are familiar with Ann Keen and who she is, you'll know she's really quite good at wasting public money. So at least she's doing what she knows best. Keep up the good work Mrs Health Minister!

The Aftermath

2009-11-27T15:55:00.004Z

I'm so doom and gloom...

The day of reckoning fell upon me and I got through the other side. It felt like it went really quick. I feel like the exams (all 3 of them) however could have gone better than they did. For biology, I totally missed studying one part (brain, the development of it) and as a result was left stuck on the 3 final questions of the paper. Fuck fuck fuck. They were worth 7 marks all together. I think sheer guessing might have scraped me 4, but we'll see. In total, I probably passed across all the exams. I don't know. My friend did much worse than me (missed loads of questions, whereas I didn't miss one) but she counted up and calculated her average based on the questions she knew were right, and thinks she averaged out a pass. So I'm confident(ish) I'll be okay.

I've never doubted myself so much since coming to Nursing school. WHY?

Who am I kidding? I'm sure I did absolutely fine today. I nailed Psychology, there were 3 questions worth 10 marks each and I followed every guideline, I'm hoping I got as many marks as possible for each question.

As for Sociology. I'm pretty sure the only question I screwed up on was the first one, which was worth 2 points, and I think I got 1. Boohoo, as for the other 33 points in the paper, I think I hit a home run. Came so fucking easy to me reading the paper. But then again (and I snap out of being optomistic) maybe everything about Psychology and Sociology came so easy because I fucked everything up!!! Haha. I guess I won't know until January.

I need to stop being so damn pessimistic, it annoys me greatly yet I can't stop?! I'm turning into my mum.

Give me strength!

2009-11-27T06:11:00.004Z

Oh my days, in less than 4 hours, I will have to undertake THREE exams, how is it fair that we have to do 3 end of module finals in one day? I'll never know. Probably something to do with room allocation, since they are cramming about 400 students in one massive room for only one morning. On a totally different campus to ours for the record. I blame management. As always.

I'm totally stressed, me and my flatmate have been up all night doing a study cram. It's been going well surprisingly. For the most part, we have been going through our chosen subjects for the Biology exam, but around an hour ago we hit a plateau and couldn't seem to get much else in, despite needing to. So we went over Sociology, since we know exactly know what we're supposed to study for it. It's all for the most part based around Health inequalities, so we made up acronyms to remember the different things we need for the questions, for the most part I think I know most of Sociology and Psychology, as well as 2/3rds of my Biology back to front. I'm feeling quite confident. It's still incredibly stressful though, and I just can't wait to get it over with.

Good luck to the other Nursing students out there today, who are also doing their exams. I know a few girls who I went to college with, who go to different Universities than I do, that are also doing finals today. It's nice to know that we are not alone in our stresses. Plus, I also saw a couple of kitchen lights on across campus tonight looking out of my window. So it was nice to know that myself and my flatmates were not the only ones pulling an all-nighter too.

I'll be absolutely gutted at this point if I don't average out and pass these exams. I've worked very hard over this last week, so hopefully I won't. You can't help but feel like you'll be in the 30% or whatever group that typically do fail these exams though. Lord knows when we'll get the results. Tonight it all made sense that all through my last University experience, College, Sixth form and School, failing really isn't an option on this course. I really want to do this. I'm so determined! Resitting is an option here, but for me it's unacceptable. I want to pass with flying colours. High expectations? Perhaps.

Sometime this weekend I'm gonna trawl through the Internet and catch up with my Nursing news and hopefully make a post, hopefully the Degree drama is over. I can't wait. I can't wait to catch up with my Nursing and Medical blogs too.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

PS: Slightly not nursing-related. But Imogen Heap's song "Hide and Seek" has been on repeat all night, it's a really weird song, but it's so beautiful and calming. I suggest everyone YouTube it right here!

Studying Part II

2009-11-26T17:59:00.003Z

It's not so much revising the material, for my upcoming sociology exam, it's now carefully deciding what I should and should not study in detail for the exam, and nobody I know seems to have a clue aswell. I missed the seminar that guided us on the exam, I was too busy getting the innards of my mouth sliced open by a Maxillofacial doctor that day. However I do remember emailing the lecture a while ago asking about the seminar I missed, I just checked my email at Uni and he didn't reply it seems. Bastard. I guess I'll just have to cram every lecture note, and all 4 powerpoints on each subject into my head then, and hopefully when the exam comes, there wont be some unknown subject I didn't revise pop up, or just one subject, out of the 4 I'm swotting up on.

I'm so stressed!

Oh my....

2009-11-26T03:31:00.005Z

You'd think blogger would have more templates, how fucking hideously shite are the ones they have for bloggers now? It's 3.30am.... I'm going out of my mind with it. If anyone knows any website, that will make my blog look smart, or fancy doing a blog template for me, let me know...

EDIT: I finally found a nice template, but why does it give me a god damn headache after 5 minutes? Oh well back to looking for another one tomorrow.... Can't get a fucking link for an "Archive" either. Perhaps I'll just post a link to porn instead, for a laugh n'all...

Studying for first rounds of exams.

2009-11-26T02:29:00.005Z

NHS Nursing Student has 2 exams soon. Biology, Psychology and Sociology. For some reason I can't make sense out of Sociology at the moment, despite acing it all through school. I'm sure those endless GCSE and A-Level classes in it will catch me up, anytime now....

As for Biology, I've picked what seems to be 3 (out of 6) of the hardest questions to other people on the exam, since you have to pick any 3, but for some reason cell structures, homeostasis etc comes quite easy to me. Though I did pick Stress, what's wrong with stress? When I told some of my Nursing Student friends which questions I picked, they freaked out on me.

Ironic I'm studying stress right now when I'm a little stressed myself.

Psychology I just had to pick one question, the PowerPoint, seminar PowerPoint and notes I have on the question didn't seem to scrape the surface of the subject for some reason, or maybe that's ALL I need to know? Surely they Uni wouldn't miss out Info in the PowerPoint's that would be on the exam? I fucking hope not. Either way I'll search the subject online, if I have bitten off more than I can chew with Psychology I'll just study the other optional question tomorrow, since that seems to be the "easier" picking amongst other Nursing Students as well... Jee I must be doing something wrong.

Exams this week, then Trust induction next week, placement the week after. A bit more placement after that, then CHRISTMAS! Can't wait.....

BBC Comments on Degree Drama.

2009-11-24T01:58:00.005Z

Alas, I found an article on the BBC website Here that isn't ENTIERLY moronic. Although the article is full of minor mistakes such as "Diploma nurses get £7,000 pa" (I'd love 7 grand, but sadly I just get a little over 6. It's the little things that count!) I'd like to point out some of the publics comments and how a few of them highlight the innacuracies that the media have been spewing about the whole issue for the last 3 weeks.

PS: Why do I feel like the media are trying to make decisions and influence the government?
PPS: Why did I just ask that like I'm stupid enough to think it hasn't been done before? Silly Em.

A commenter from Stockport said;

How does this fit in with the fact that a large number of nurses have been recruited from overseas, particularly the Phillipines? Will they have to have degrees and how will we know that their degrees are equivalent to ours?

It doesn't fit in with the large number of overseas nurses coming to the UK. Infact, that's a totally different issue alltogether and I can't quite seem to make it fit into this subject. Clearly the poster has an underlying issue with Pinoy nurses working in the UK. But what the UK government do know is that Pinoy nurses do a full time degree in Nursing for 4 years, and their syllabus is similiar of the american nursing degree, full of pharmacology and the like, and things UK nurses aren't always trained in and to a very high standard. They definetly have what it takes to be a Nurse in this country, and the government/NHS have ensured for years that their credentials are valid to work here.

The poster also added;

In addition, even at the moment, old people can starve in hospital because no one makes sure that they have help with eating if they need it. How will having even more highly qualified nurses help this problem?

It won't help the issue, but again that issue doesn't really fit very well with this subject. The problem with "old people being left to starve in the ward" falls down to
A) We cannot force patients as nurses to eat and
B) We have an underlying issue of a shortage of nurses in the UK and I've never met a nurse who has willingly left a patient to "starve" or hasn't eventually delegated such a task to a HCA, or just hasn't been able to attend to he/she's patient eventually, due to the 1000 other tasks on a nurses adgenda.

Another poster from Wakefield commented;

Nursing is primarily a caring, practical hands-on job. From my experience in many different working environments, the more qualified a person becomes the less hands-on work they want to do. Preferring to do more administrative roles, this is the last thing the NHS needs.

This may be true in other working environments, but I hardly see how a Nurse with a degree is "more qualified" than that of a Nurse with a Diploma. For years really Nurses out on our wards have been "educated" to this level. Like I mentioned in my first blog, it's a matter of a single management module at the end of the 3rd year of a Student Nurses training. Also, there are certain competancies and tasks that are part of a job description, hands on care is in a Nurses. We HAVE to do these jobs. Some Nurses like them, some Nurses hate them. Some nurses will delegate all of their hands-on care to HCA's if they have alot on their plate, it's just how it is, a Nurse cannot really avoid doing them unless they were in some type of management role. Plus, you have to do alot of hands-on care to pass certain competancies in Nursing school.

A stupid person from Crumpsall, commented;

The problem ..is ..If nurses need degrees, they will want more money ..hospitals will commence to employ more auxilleries, who are largely completely untrained!
This has not been thought out, has it?

Yes it has been thought on. And rightly so for Nurses to start demanding higher pay! I hope we continue to do so for many years until we get the justice we deserve, and a starting salary comfortable enough to get Nurses out of debt once finishing University. If a degree is the "professional credibility" Nurses in England demand that thus enables them to demand better pay and working conditions, then so be it. what difference does it make to Joe public how much Nurses should start demanding pay? Should you stop giving us degrees so we can't fight for a better salary? And in regards to HCA's, a HCA cannot replace a Nurse and the complex tasks of a Nurse on a daily basis in regards to patient care. The government have been putting out more HCA's onto our wards, yes. But thats to keep up with the increasing workloads Nurses are given (and perhaps a little to do with them replacing a nurse or two in regards to patient care) but some tasks HAVE to be delegated. And every HCA works under a Nurse, so whatever that HCA does, a Nurses licence is on the line if they fuck up. There isn't anything wrong with having more HCA's on the ward, let them do their job with Nurses. Since when have HCA's been the bad guys?

Another anti-foreign-nurse comment:

If British nurses have to be trained to degree standard, what criteria will the NHS apply to foreign nurses it employs from abroad, as we are often told the NHS could not function without them; will they have to have a degree too?

Most foreign nurses do have a degree. Again, their are high standards put in place for Foreign nurses entering the UK. If they are not up to the task, then they do not become a praciticing nurse in the UK. The Nursing and Midwifery council and NHS have been regulating Foreign nurses closely for several years. They are often educated well better than UK nurses.

A florence-lova said;

Florence Nighingale did not take a degree course! I believe that nurses are born not created. I have been in hospital many times in my life and the best ones have always been those that do the job because it is in their blood/heart. You can educate someone to the nth degree but you cannot teach them care or common sense - this is something that is quite often lacking in graduates until they have had some experience of life!

You cannot teach Nurses care and common sense, No. But you can certainly assess their "Care and common sense" when they are training to be a Nurse. If they are absoloutly clueless, have no sense of what being a real nurse is, etc. They they will not pass their placement assessments in University. They are mentored by real nurses and nurses who have been doing this for donkey's years, who know what it takes to be a real Nurse. And no, Florence didn't do a degree. But she didn't do even 1/5th of the workload that the average Nurse these days does. She woulden't know shit from clay in half the stuff Nursing students learn these days, and other complex nursing tasks that are required by graduates as default these days.

Finally.....

There seem to be a lot of people here who think the job of nurses is just to change bedpans and make tea. Nothing could be further from the truth. Nurses need to assess patient condition and administer drugs and treatments, skilled functions for which a relevant degree will be an asset. The distinction between doctors and experienced nurses is no longer sharp. Sorry but with today's high tech treatments a kind heart is no longer enough.

I coulden't have said it better myself!

About & Contact

2006-11-26T04:45:00.005Z

NHS Nursing Student is not an official blog for NHS students or Nursing students in general in the UK, nor should you take my bitching seriously. I'm just a woman, banging the drum about things I usually forget about the next day.

If you want to contact me, contact me at nhsnursingstudent@live.co.uk